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for the married or divorced! plz answer this

is it true that the 1st year(s) of marriage are the hardest? i have been married for a year now and it seems more like war than a marriage. does it ever get better or do guys just never change?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Jan. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • almost 4 years and I'm still waiting for some changes....hasn't happened yet!!
    jsimonds220

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 12:07 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • The problem is you expect him to change. He is who he is you married him warts and all. I married my husband knowing he is who he is and made sure his flaws were ones I could live with. He did the same with me. We have been married 25 years and we both have never tried to change each other. The first year was tough but it was also a lot of fun. You need to accept him for who he is and learn to live with the man you chose. If you didn't like who he was before you married him then you never should have taken that leap.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • yes but it gets better we're at 4 years and everything is wonderful. But on our second anniversary I was ready to leave. If you want help or advice feel free to message me.
    mrsjonzy

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 12:12 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • people, not just men, dont change at their core-they are who they are. Instead of waiting and "having a war" over the changes you expect, why not start learning to live with things as they ARE. thats the way to be happy, you loove the person you married for who they are, not for who you want to change them in to...that rarely works out. and hey , there is no shame in couples counseling! its hard learning to share a life with someone,a nd the best of us screw up sometimes. I know therapy has saved my relationship- even when things are great, it helps us deepen our bond, and communicate better. good luck to you.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:13 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • I agree with anon :11. You don't marry someone expecting them to change, you marry them for who they are - not for who you think they should or could be. I've been married 14 years and he's still the same guy he was then.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 12:13 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Definitely the hardest. I love my husband today more than I did yesterday, we have been married 7 years now and our bond keeps growing stronger. He is the most WONDERFUL person I know (not counting our 2 little angels). Hope this helps you.........
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Ever heard that good ole saying, " Women marry men thinking they will change and men marry women thinking they never will". Seems true enough.
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:15 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Legalmommy101, SO TRUE~~~~~~~~~
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • For us, the first year was the best year. We have been married 3yrs now and my husband has changed a LOT -- for the worse. He was all about spending time together that first year, now he chooses friends and other things over being with our daughter and I. I guess for us things turned to the worse when we had a kid.
    soccerchik8287

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 12:19 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • i am the person who post this and to the the 1st anon, he didnt act like this before we were married if things were bad before we got married i doubt i would have stayed with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

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