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need to see my kids NOW!!

ok ladys heres my question me an my husband ...soon to be ex husband once the divorce papers are finished; we dont have a custody agreement not untill the divorce (it will be all at once) he wont let me see my kids, im half tempted to go to my daughters school at time of release an pick her up,... now i know my ex's gf will be there to pick her up also and she will have my other two kids with her.... my question is can she or he do anything if i ask for her to hand over the kids ,... keep also in mind im on the school records i am aloud to pick my daughter up,... i want them for the weekend we agreed on we had started the every other weekend idea already he got a stick up his but on christmas an desided not to let me have them.... is this a bad or good idea if i remember correctly with out a custody order theres nothing he can do.

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Asked by mwzraekebrats at 12:17 AM on Jan. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • I would call a lawyer and ask! Better safe than sorry. If you ex is already dicking you around, I wouldn't put it past him to use it as leverage to get full custody. Call the lawyer and find out what your rights are!

    Answer by Nathskitten at 12:20 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • If you don't have a set in stone custody agreement, then why are you letting the asshole keep you away from your children? I say get them after school and have that be that. What's he going to do? Call the police? For what? Kidnapping? They are your kids too!

    Answer by Miss_Behavin at 12:24 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • You can pick them up at any time from the information you've given. You just have to ask yourself, will it cause a scene at the school if you do go pick them up? If so, I wouldn't pick them up there.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:24 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • I think that making a scene in front of not only your own children, but their friends at school, is a very bad idea. I think that you should contact an attorney and do it the right way in order to establish your visitation rights.

    Answer by Avarah at 12:24 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • bad bad bad idea. keep your hands clean untill after everything is done! get what you want in the papers and you don't want to do that to your other kids that will be in the car with your ex's girlfriend, and that'll be putting her in an awkward position. you have to think about the kids, not yourself. I know it's hard, i could never go without my children, but you don't want to do anything that'll hurt you in court.

    Answer by Peanut_Farley at 12:26 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • I would also document every time you call him and talk to him about seeing your kids. Just get a notebook and take notes about what was said, the time of day. He sounds like a putz.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 12:30 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • You can still be a part of their life, I wouldn't do what you are suggesting regarding taking them from school though. I would send letters and packages to the school. If the school has a function show up. Find out when there are parent teacher conferences and show up. If you want to give them a hug or kiss then show up at the school at release time. If the exs GF has a problem with you giving your children a hug or kiss let her cause the scene, not you. I would show up at the appointed times you agreed to and let him turn you away from them. Documentation, documentation, documentation is the key to custody issues like this. Above all else get a lawyer...ive never seen a divorce go through without a temporary order for custody, visitation and child support.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • thank you all for your answers,... i was also going to call a police station an get some advice from them because the last thing i wanna do is get myself in trouble. the hardest thing about doctumenting anything is he dosnt respond to nothing wont answer his phone text nothing!!!!

    Answer by mwzraekebrats at 12:49 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Regardless of the legality of what you are considering, do you really want to embarrass your children by creating such a scene at their school in front of their friends? Do you want to risk what could happen to your children as a result of your attempt to get what you want? Also, you should remember that by taking matters into your own hands now, you very well could jeopardize your chances of getting them in the future. Even your mental state could be called into question. I would not risk the next 10 or 12 years for a week-end.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:35 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • My friend has been through this. If he is not present at the school to pick them up, then you have every legal right to take them. The gf has no rights to your children. If he is there to get the kids also, then call the police to meet you there. They will probably ask the kids which parent that they want to go with.

    Even though you are just starting the divorce process, you should get a parenting schedule in place immediately. The longer you go without contact with your children, the harder it will be for you to get custody.

    Out of curiosity, why didn't you take your kids when you left?

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 10:34 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

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