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4 year old with anger issues?

I have a 4 year old that seems to have some issues going on. I'm thinking about taking him to a child psycologist to have him evaluated. He started out with my middle child, he's contantly hitting him and trying to urge my other son to do things that could potentially hurt him and also tried to get my 2 year old to bite him. He's always mean to him. The other day he actually tipped my 7 month old over in his jumperoo (kind of like an exersaucer), while I was in the kitchen, no harm was done thank God. Then today he walked up to the 7 mo old in his highchair and I asked him to stay back because I worry now and he walked up behind him and started shaking his seat really hard. Then when I was letting the dog outside today, my 2 year old started screaming, and I went into their room and he was laying on top of him and wouldn't get off. WHAT THE HECK!?!?!


Asked by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Jan. 6, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • At his age he is not sure how to respond to his feelings, or even what he is feeling. It is hard to tell if he is angry, annoyed, sad, confused.... either way a child full of emotion will act out in both good and bad ways. When he is behaving like this come down to his level and get him to look at your face. Ask him, "Are you angry?" Tell him, "Tell him it is okay to be angry, but it is not okay to do (whatever it is that he is doing.) If you are angry you can tell mommy." (The same with the other emotiongs depending on how you think he is feeling at the time.) I would let him know you understand how he is feeling but will not accept what he is doing. Time out for the behavior. In our house we use this for the appology: "I am sorry because... it was wrong time I wil..." It helps them know what they did, why it is wrong, and how to change the behavior. Good luck hun.

    Answer by Mommie_Mommie at 12:45 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Sounds like there may be a problem. Not to pry or anything but you said your 4yr old started on your "middle child" then you say you have a 2yr and a 7month old, that's a lot of attention divided between children of such a young age. Maybe he's feeling left out. Only you really know what is going on with him.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:28 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • From OP-The middle one is the 2 year old, sorry I didn't clear that up. To be perfectly honest, if I lacked giving attention to any of my children, which I feel I do a pretty good job being pretty even, it would be my 2 year old (middle child) that recieves less. The only thing that changed for him and he was so small, was that his Father and I got divorced, he wasn't even 1 yet. I can't see that affecting him. Of course a baby requires a lot of attention, but the majority of the time that I spend with the baby, we are all on the floor playing with him. He seemed to have really loved his new baby brother and I can't believe he did that to him. He's always been really mean to the 2 year old once he wasn't such a baby anymore. I don't know where he's gotten this behavior from, but I can't believe this is going on. No matter what we do, he doesn't stop. He's even started in on the dog.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • It sounds like he is striving for your attention. I know it sounds cheesy but that show on tv the supernanny it has great tips and tricks on how to give your children the attention they need.

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 12:35 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • From OP-He gets his very own special time after I pick him up from preschool everyday and on Fridays, if he's good all week at school, we go to Sonic and get a slush or (really bad I know) we go to Starbucks and have a frappachino. If his behavior is good at home too we go pick out a movie to watch over the weekend. Once a month my husband and I take him out alone, bowling, movies or Freedom Station (little kids place with crawl tunnels and games) and have Grandma watch the younger ones. On weekends at nap time we pick a game and play together until the other kids wake up. If I'm lacking giving him attention then we're both in trouble because I have no more extra time to give him. He didn't have time to adjust to being an only child, there's not much of an age difference. I'm seriously stumped at this behavior.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • He's from a different marriage? Maybe he does feel left out at times. Even though it happened when he was young, now that he's older he may notice that he's different than his siblings. Maybe he's just going through an evil stage. Maybe it will pass soon. :)


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:54 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Oh wait, i just reread that. Maybe something is going on at preschool. Maybe check into it.

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:56 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • From OP- This has been happening w/ the 2 year old before school ever even happened. It's a Christian school & it's great. He's really happy there & loves going. I ask him all the time if the teacher is nice to him, if he has fun while he's there, if he's excited to go back the next day. He goes right in to his classroom & he has friends that come up & hug him upon his arrival. I'm not trying to battle everything everyone tells me, I appreciate the input, I'm just explaining different areas more thoroughly once they're brought up. I've had so many things running through my head & I can't place what would be bothering him. My husband has taken this boy as his own & treats him very much like that. My whole family & even my ex has said that they are impressed with the way that he has accepted him & how he is treated no different than if he were really my husbands son. Keep the ideas coming! I'm waiting for something to click!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Has he been acting out in school as well?

    Answer by emslala at 2:46 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Could he be bored, 4 years old love to play, some park time playgroup or childcare a few days a week, so he can adjust to other children of all ages including his own age at the child care centre, with a mom who is busy with so many little ones, there are quite a few chilcare workers and policies that will help your son develop the social skills he needs from childcare to, put into practice around his siblings

    Answer by pumpkinpie778 at 4:33 AM on Jan. 6, 2010