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Help dealing with a "terrible 2"

Hello...

My sweet beautiful daughter has entered officially in to the Terrible 2 stage. She's almost 2 1/2. She is getting extremely stubborn, regressing back to me having to feed her to get anything in her b/c she refuses to eat, any way I try to discipline her has NO affect on her whatsoever. I've been told that if she refuses to eat then let her, and she will eat when she is hungry enough. I try that, but I can only go for a meal or 2 before I feel bad and I just want her to eat. She is really a wonderful girl, but I just need to find a way to regain control. I am home with her each day which I know can make her almost immune to my discipline, but still...I just want her to respect when someone asks her to do or not do something, and to make her see that the adults are the "boss". I've tried time-out, talking, sometimes yelling (wrong, I know)..but she pushes me right to my limits. Any suggestions??

Tina

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nrth2sth05

Asked by nrth2sth05 at 8:37 AM on Jan. 6, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • I have a 2 yr old as well! They can be the cutest, most frustrating creatures on the planet :) With food, I give him his 3 meals in his high chair, then a small snack in between meals at his activity table. I don't push it - he will eat when he's hungry. There are days when he doesn't eat much of anything, so I give him Gerber nutrition drink once a day as well. When he has a tantrum after I tell him no, I let him be upset. I'll go finish cleaning or whatever and wait for him to calm down. (Most often, he is fine in a few minutes.) He knows I'm the boss, but he pushes it about every day. You have to be consistent - I only tell him no 3 times, then there is a consequence. The few times I've let him get away with something have come back to haunt me - I swear he remembers. It takes me twice as long to reteach something than it does to just stand firm.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:47 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • That actually sounds very similar to what I do, right down to the nutrition drink, lol. It's true, if you are stern with them and let them get away with something one time, it haunts you! They have memories like elephants, lol. I think they have a secret network where they talk to each other and compare ways to taunt us parents!!! Thanks for your input!!
    nrth2sth05

    Answer by nrth2sth05 at 8:53 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • I think you're right about the secret network!! One of the babies told Ian that he could hide in our fireplace ... my angel couldn't have come up with that on his own!! lol
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:40 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Secret network!!! hahaha And they have a special gang-up-on-mom unit when they have siblings! So watch out.

    She is starting to think for herself but she still needs guidance and limitations. I suggest you give her 2 choices. Be stern and say it simple. Get down on her level. If she refuses to choose, put her in her room in her bed and tell her..."you can come out when you are ready to choose." Dont give in and dont overexplain. Repeat the choices. She will get the hang of it.

    Dont forget to reward. GL mama!

    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 10:30 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Oh one more thing....This works good for me. Sometimes I tell my kids "Yes you can (color) but lets (pick up the books) first." You can fill in the blanks .....
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 10:37 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • There's my son. Most people would say I feed him too much if they saw the amount of food this child can pack away but since he's turned two (and learned the word/meaning of cookie) he's been super picky even with his favorites. I know he's hungry and it's just a show so I tell him he can stay at the table until he's eaten. I never make him finish the plate but I know how much will keep him from an empty-stomach-meltdown. When he throws a fit, I tell him he can scream if he wants but I won't talk to him until he's ready to act like a big boy. It's just a matter of being firm and not giving in, even when the tantrum magically convinces you that it's not a big enough deal to keep on. Like the other mom's said, they'll remember every time you give in. Good luck. :)
    flitpixie

    Answer by flitpixie at 11:40 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

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