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I slapped him, I'm pregnant and "out" now...what to do?

I've let myself become dependable on my so entirely to where I've nothing. My car was totaled this last yr although insuranced covered a lot, I ended up owing 4gs I've been paying off. Going to school fulltime & miscarrying my first baby, made my husband tell me & I did quit my job when pregnant with this baby due May But, I live in his house (his name as he was buying it prior to meeting me) the car I share with him is his. I no longer have income. We got into an argument tonight & I wanted to take the car for a drive, he took the keys, eventually I he gave them back. We got back into fighting (verbal) & he runs ahead of me to take the battery from the car so I can't leave. Childish behavior on my part, but I tried to lock the door (from kitchen to garage) he thorws the door smashing me (my prg stomach) between the door & kitchen counter (I'm 4'11 he 6'2) I slap him. He now says slapping was ultimant we're "over"

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:41 AM on Jan. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Regardless of how others behave it is never okay to physically strike another person. He could have called the cops and filed assault charges. From the sound of it you both have some growing up to do. If it's 'over' then you need to get busy taking care of where you are going and how.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:45 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • He then started the name calling once I slapped him & said he was glad he cheated on me (earlier in our relationship) saying "Yeah that was fun" so I kept hitting him & crying. Its not a healthy relationship, I do love him but if it's the end I can't do anything about my broken heart. Should I fight for this and make him evict me (law in my state is a 30 day notice once person is getting mail there it's their residance & I've been here 10 months) I'm due in 3 month a wk. I'm soo scared. Do I break even off? Do I be civil for baby's sake? I'm so lost I know slapping was wrong, just couldn't believe he knew I was trying to lock the door, we were pushing each side like children & I got pinned between the door & counter & then slapped him. I'm childish, emotional w/out being pregnant now I'm a monster? I've really no where but friends to go to doubt any1 will hire me showing n I cant expect my friends to take care of me & baby

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • You both need to grow the hell up. Sounds like you are better off apart. Before the stupidity escalates and someone really gets out of hand.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • If it's "over" then it sounds like that is the best decision if this is how you guys act when upset. You have to learn to sit down and talk instead of running and slamming things

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Not allowing you to leave is illegal in some states; however, depending on the weather conditions he could have been trying to protect you from harm out driving in a blizzard or below zero weather. As a pregnant mother I can see the slapping as a direct reaction to him smashing you and the baby so I don't think they will arrest you for domestic violence. I would call a domestic violence shelter though and see if they will help relocate you if you want to leave. If you don't want it to be over then tell him to just let things calm down and discuss it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:52 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • In this state yes, it is illegal & it was my first impulse after feeling my stomach smashed between a door & counter (which that also would be illegal in this state) I know slapping is wrong & neither of us called the cops. As previously said, he knew although childish, I was pushing against the door. He said I should've stopped, I said he did't have to push the door into me. Yeah one of those relationships. No blizzards, he'd given me the keys & arugment had started on my way out leading to him running to the garage to remove the battery to the car or whatever he does. Anyway, i guess I'm also asking, can hormones really be increased while pregnant? Scary as I'm emotional anyways. But still? I guess although ups & downs I never wanted to leave while pregnant, afraid I'd regret it and realize later I was over reacting. etc.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • This is a domestic battery type of relationship by BOTH sides,as well as a mental abusive relationship from what you have said. YOu are now carrying a child, you are now responsible for 2 people, as well as he is. YOu stated he cheated on you, why did you stay with him? It is time for you and him to behave like rational adults and seriously ask yourselves if this it the proper environment to raise a child. My suggestion is that IF you do stay together go to therapy as a couple. If you do not go as a couple then you are on a dead end road in the marriage.

    Answer by ronjwake at 9:07 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Can you just talk about it tonight? You don't mention if you actually love him or not? I would think a call to your family to see if they would take you in, if you all cannot work it out is in order. I think you need to have a peaceful pregnancy!

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:08 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • You need to kiss and make up argueing over something stupid is not worth it.
    the sad thing about this you would never expect him to hurt you physically right and for you to just slap him shows him that you are capable of abuse even though you did not mean anything by it you were so angry you just reacted. Looking at it as the third person you guys were arguing and he just did not want you out by yourself. Now unless it was an emergency to where you needed to step out then I can understand but if not you better start apologizing to make this marriage work. Try looking at the good things in him don't dwell on how bad he is towards you. You feel inlove for a reason if you don't love anymore move on and stop hitting people that is a big nono in my book. Remember you pissed him off first. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Honey, if he has no regard for that unborn baby, and has demonstrated this by slamming a door into your belly, you should begin to seriously ask yourself if this is the type of environment that will be safe for you and baby. Sounds like this man has control issues b/c he wouldn't allow you to leave and had you quit your job. These are classic signs of the beginning of an abusive relationship...He has complete control by owning the home, owning the only car, having the only income, and cheating on you. You are pregnant and shouldn't be in a hostile situation. Get help BEFORE that baby is born. B/c if your only family is out-of-state, you can travel pregnant, get their support, have the baby, and have more rights. But if you have the baby and then decide to move out-of-state, you have to go through the courts and get SO's signed consent (which gives him something else to control you with). Bottom line. please get outside

    Answer by kenzie07 at 9:41 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

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