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How do I have "the talk" with my 9 year old?

I'm sure her body is changing, she' already wearing a bra. My mom never said anything to me, so this is going to be really hard. My best friends daughter just got her period yesterday and shes 10. I don't even know how to begin the conversation. I want her to know that she can talk to me. She writes me little letters and leaves them on my dresser and we write back and forth. Nothing major, just things she wants to ask without the whole face to face thing. I just don't want her to find out sex and periods through other people and bad experiences like I did. My mother never talked to me about anything, I don't want to be that way, but I feel like thats whats been going on for the past 9 years. I hope I'm not a bad mom for not talking to her about it sooner. How did you guy's have the period/sex talk? and at what age?

Answer Question
 
Shyma

Asked by Shyma at 9:38 AM on Jan. 6, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 5 (72 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I learned about having a period when I was eight... around here thats when you learn about it in school... and how your body is changing... i honestly never had the talk with my mom either... i think she didn't want the awkwardness of it all but she did say if we had a question about sex come to her first and not one of our friends so we don't learn the wrong way. But i never wanted to ask her... but I wasn't even interested in having sex until I was way older then 9. And when I got my period when I was 11, I didn't tell her... she just figured it out.. .my older sister got hers at 10 so I just got advice from her instead. I was one of the only girls that got it in my class and everyone made fun of me when they found out... girls are mean. my class was small though it had only 8 kids in it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • I had "the talk" with my child when she was 6. I talked about everything from pregnancy to masturbation (in the most PG way I could), told her my expectations from her about sex (I'd like for her to wait until she's at least 18 like I did so that if she's doing adult things and there are adult consequences, then she can handle them as an adult) and answered any question she had. I had to be completely honest with her and choose my words carefully without being too graphic. She knew what periods were at a very young age because I was a single mom and she'd accidentally walk in on me in the bathroom (our door was broken). She's 10 now, and just a few weeks ago, she asked me what a condom was, and although I was red-faced, I said, "It's something that prevents you from getting pregnant."

    My mom never had "the talk" with me. I had it with my sister when I was 10. I did it the way I WISHED my mother had done for me. Good Luck!
    ThaMCE

    Answer by ThaMCE at 1:59 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • There is a book called 'taking care of me' that is awesome. I would just sit her down and go over the basics. Use drawings to help explain things and then give her the book. Plan on getting the 'Geez Mom! Really look.' But you gotta do it soon.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • anon 12;18 is right , go get that book.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 11:36 AM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • I never really had the talk, one day I just got my period, and the next, I was a woman! There is no real reason to have the talk unless, you don't know the difference between reality, and beauty.
    NatiMarti

    Answer by NatiMarti at 2:45 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

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