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Ever done Marriage Counseling?

Has anyone ever been to marriage counseling? Did it help? How does it work--do you really go in and lay on a couch and talk like the movies show?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:19 PM on Jan. 6, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I personally would definitely suggest going. Just having a third person to mediate conversations is great. It really helped us to see what we needed to work on and what we needed to do to get our marriage where it needed to be. The counseling is a commitment though. In order for it to truly work you both really need to be committed to it, and you need to be honest with the counselor. When we went that was basically my hubby's last chance with me. He was skeptical at first, but after a few visits he really did commit to it and in the end it did help us quite a bit. I would love to start going again, just to help us stay on track with the goals we had set previously and to just help out some with a few issues we still have left

    Also we did not lay on a couch or anything, we sat on a couch and the counselor sat on a chair facing us and we just talked back and forth
    soccerchik8287

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 7:07 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • i want too but my husband won't do it he thinks we don't have any problems
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • A couple of times. It definitely helped. Contact me offlist if you have any questions.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:23 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • I went once with my ex-husband. He was abusive, and even the counselor was scared and told me to leave him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Yes we've gone, no it didn't help and no we didn't lay down on couches. We sat in chairs facing the Counselor who sat behind a desk. The Counselor "Why are you here, Mrs. X?" My response was "We're having problems in our marriage and I'd like to work towards resolving them." The Counselor responded, "Same question, Mr. X?" My hubby responded, pointing a finger at me, "The only problem I have is her. I'm here because she made me come. Ain't nobody gonna tell me how to live my life." The Counselor looked at me and said "I'm not Houdini. It takes two to wanna do some work and this is a waste of your time and mine. Have a Good Day!" So much for that....
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 6:38 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Oh, forgot to add that counseling did work when I went alone. I took parenting, domestic violence, sex and self esteem classes. I like that my counselor didn't expect to just "dump" information on me and I was just supposed to swallow it. I asked questions, challenged theories, did homework and gave my counselor homework. It was a win-win scenario and we both came out ahead.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 6:45 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • my husband and I attended (and hope to start up again soon). we met at our counselor's house. While we could have learned a lot the first time round, my dh refused to do anything she asked him to do. He liked going and felt it was worth while, but did not make the effort outside of the counseling.
    ArmyWifeMomof3

    Answer by ArmyWifeMomof3 at 6:57 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • My hubby&I went for a few months&it did help us a lot.The first visit we basically introduced ourselves to the therapist, and told her why we were there.Then she asked to see each of us separately just to talk to us&see if there was anything we wanted to let her know but didn't want the other person to hear us talk about.If you go I would suggest asking them when you make the appointment if they could talk to you each separately for a few minutes at your visit.Doing that was very helpful for me at least.The following appointments we would review things we went over the previous weeks, and check in, talk about things going on.For example we talked at one point about how when we argued we never really talked things out. Usually my hubby would get in the car mad and leave. She suggested we at least stay in the same house (but different rooms is fine)&then when we cool down talk. At the next visit we talked about how that went
    soccerchik8287

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 7:06 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • My husband and I went to marriage counseling a couple of months ago and it did help. We only went to 4 sessions and each got to talk about our concerns and needs. It really helped us understand eachother a little better. As for our problems, they did get better but counseling doesn't make it all go away. It basically gives you the tools you need to communicate with your partner. If one of you isn't willing to use these tools then counseling is useless. Hope this helps
    mire621

    Answer by mire621 at 7:10 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • My hubby and I went and it worked out. We are still together and very much in love still
    kimosgirl08

    Answer by kimosgirl08 at 7:28 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

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