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whats wrong with my hubby...not interested in sex!!

i am 25 yrs old and he is 23. he is a manager of a subway rest., works 5 days a week from 7 to 2:30,and we have 2 kids in the home. i am a big girl...but have been this way all my life(he met me this way!!!) but for some reason i feel that he is not interested in our sex life at all. we get along great most of the time other than typical man stuff like not doing what we ask lol! but we hang out and joke around alot. but theres not passion to our sex. its like hes just doing it for the orgasm. we dont make out, rarely use tongue, hardly any foreplay unless i am going down on him, no licking or rubbing of anything. and then he only lasts about 5 minutes (not exaerating) we can have sex during the commercial break of a tv show. is it me that is not attractive enough for him tho i am the same size i was when we met...before the kids and all!! i have tried talking but it only helps for a week or so...whats your sex life like?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Jan. 6, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I've been a big girl forever, and i know that my hubby and i go through some spells where we're on eachother like dogs and then sometimes we're just lazy and fine with it, but maybe you guys need to work at getting the passion back... not just the sex.. start by just using tongue to kiss good bye its a good way to start.. take away his breath before he leaves, then he'll know he has something exciting to come back to... i could give you tips all day but no i don't think its you, it sounds like he's just in a weird mood

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 1:06 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • I am also a bigger women, my husband has always been attracted to me because I have also always been bigger. But there for a wile after we had our daughter, he barely ever wanted to have sex but now things are a lot better! Like when he is about to get in the shower after he takes off all of his clothes I run in there and start sexing him up.... LOL... I take control of it! I have found out that he likes me taking control and we were having sex like maybe 3 times a month and now like 3 times a week! I want it more but I know he is tired when he comes home! Good luck and I hope it works out for you! :)

    Answer by heatherjenea at 9:20 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Could be his testosterone is low. That can affect a mans sex drive.

    Answer by crazymom21 at 10:04 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • When, I seen your question,I laughed, I would like to ask you and others ,what would do you, if your DH couldn't have sex at all,I haven't had sex in 9 yrs.,due to my DH being ill,and he can't take Vigara,but,I wouldn't trade my DH for nothing.Our wedding vows,sex wasn't in it,my vows said for sickness and health,richer or poorer,but,sex wasn't in there. Just,maybe your DH is having a problem,he may be tired,better yet,ask him,but,ask him in love and care.Everyday,I thank GOD for my DH,especially now,I was in the hospital for 2 months,he never missed a day coming to see me,I been home for 2 weeks,my DH is the one who feeds me,help bathe me,has to put up with my mood swings,lol,as, I learn to walk again,but this what love is about,not sex. Who,knew,just like I had to stand by my DH when he was sick,he would have to take care of me,BE HAPPY,REMEMBER,SEX COMES AND GOES,BUT,TRUE LOVE LAST FOREVER !!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • There could be lots of things causing it. He could be depressed, testosterone could be low, could be really stressed. Don't jump straight to the conclusion it must be you. Although, I'm guilty of that myself. My boyfriend and I have a very similar situation, mainly b/c he is stressed about his job and he is kind of depressed. Of course, like you, I just jump straight to "it's gotta be me, he doesn't want me". I did talk to mine, though, and told him how I felt. He assured me that he loves me, and that he definitely does want me, he's just so stressed, tired, and depressed that it's just not happening for us right now. Try talking to him again. Just gently explain to him that his reactions are making you feel unwanted and unattractive, and see what he says. He might surprise you with his response. And as someone else pointed out, I know it feels like it when you want it, but sex is not everything in a relationship.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:42 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • The big problem is your lack of communication

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:14 AM on Jan. 7, 2010