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Does your mother do better with your baby than you do?

My DS is 3 months old and can scream and cry and scream and cry all night while I try everything to soothe him - rock him, bounce him, feed him, change him, give him a binky, take him for a car ride, play music for him, etc. Nothing works, he just doesn't calm down. However, if he does this when we're visiting my mom's as soon as she picks him up he's fine! She kept him for a whole night for New Years and said he didn't cry or fuss at all! I felt like shit knowing I can't soothe him at all most of the time but here she is having not a wink of trouble from him! Anyone else have a mom with the "magic touch"? Do you ever feel like less of a mom because of it??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Jan. 6, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (9)
  • he may be feeling your stress, where as your mother is not with him 24/7 so she doesn't have that same stress.

    you are not less of a mom because of it though!

    I promise, it gets easier when they can communicate exactly what they are wanting
    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 10:33 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • He feels your tension when you can't soothe him...which makes him cry more. Its just a baby thing to cry more when they know there care taker is stressed. Your mom isn't stressed like you so thats why he calms down for her. I felt the same way with my son when he was a newborn like that and my mother in law could soothe him with no problem. Even now that he is a year old there are some days he will cry and cry til she visits (which is every night thankfully) and she can walk in and hold him for a second and he is totally fine. Its rough I know, but hang in there. It does get much easier even before they can talk... :) Congrats on your precious lil one! :) They grow so fast so enjoy every moment!
    leann74016

    Answer by leann74016 at 10:37 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • honey trust me u better love it up now and use it to your advantage!!! my baby was the opposite....even as early as 3 months he didnt like ANYONE. he wouldnt even let my mom hold him until he was one. needless to say NO ONE will keep him and i cant seem to shake him off my leg lol! so be happy that the baby loves ur mom and that she can keep him with no probs, she will make a good babysitter. on the other hand maybe your baby is as tired of you are you are of him crying lol j/k but yes sometimes with a baby, less is more. try taking a deep breath, calming down and hum to the baby and do a little slow dance and see if it gets better. my son would cry unless i patted him on his bottom with enough force to rock him a little like when ur burping him, only on his butt while he was over my shoulder
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 10:37 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • yes my grandma could always calm my son..and i do agree babies can feel when your stressed or tense..they feel what you feel.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:37 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • No, neither my Mom or my Mother in law were that good with my babies. But my kids didn't cry and scream very often unless they were really sick, ...they were very relaxed and cheerful. I never worried. Just relax and enjoy your baby and everything will be alright!
    Lindalu2

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 10:56 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • It's most likely because he feels that you're frustrated, exhausted, stressed, and upset. He feeds off of that and gets more upset knowing that you're feeling that way. Babies/Toddlers have a strong sense of how people are feeling and greatly feed off of that. Your mom has been through this and knows how to keep her cool when dealing with an upset child. It doesn't say anything about your parenting at all, it just shows your mom has more experience dealing with this. Something things you could do are:

    Stay calm. Your child will most likely calm down faster if you stay clam.
    Don't let yourself get anxious, frustrated, or upset due to him being upset. I know this is a hard one, especially when baby is screaming without a sign of stopping. However, if it takes walking away from the situation for a moment then do so.
    (Contin)
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:13 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • (Contin)
    If it's specific things that he's throwing tantrums over, then try something new before the tantrums happen. For example .. If he's throwing a fit every night before bed, then maybe try giving him a warm bath to help calm him. Sometimes babies themselves are stressed and frustrated. Since they don't know how to calm themselves and we as parents don't know what exactly is wrong sometimes, the moment escelates.

    Some people are just miracle workers with children. My dad is that way with children. If they're screaming he just starts singing to them and instantly it stops .. I don't get it sometimes, it's amazing. But sometimes my methods don't work, even if tested and proven worthy. It's just that sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me and I allow my son to see that I'm stressed. I have to calm down, walk away, and then go back. That usually works.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:16 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Not with my mom, she is awful. She watched our three kids the other night. When we were pulling into her driveway to pick them up it was her. I answered it and all I hear is our 4 month old screaming. I guess the baby cried for 30 minutes. My mil is half and half with the new baby. With my boys (2 and 3) she does have the magic touch. But she did watch them for me when I worked (I became a sahm when our youngest was born) so she has a special bond with them. Sometimes though it makes me feel inadequate when we are with her, especially when at times they want her over me. But I am glad at the same time that they have that relationship with her. I hope it continues as they get older because she is a very wise woman who will give them great advice if they rather talk to her than me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • it is totally normal for your 3 month old to cry for now reason what so ever My little one did and I swaddle her up and did Shhhhh loud and then brought it down quietly. It might work for you it might not but be cool and your not a bad mom your mother might know things that you might not know yet and ask her how she did it maybe she found out away that calm your baby down don't feel bad because my mother in law make me feel like crab for 3 months too
    bootybabygirl82

    Answer by bootybabygirl82 at 11:51 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

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