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How do I deal with my live-in Mother-in-Law?

My mother-in-law and I have always had a very good relationship. A few years ago my father-in-law died and pretty much left her with nothing. My husband is Caribbean and they have very strong family ties, so he took on the role of providing for her & his younger brother. Anyway, last year we decided we were going to let her and my little brother-in-law move in when I became pregnant. That way we would save on Daycare and on her bills. Sounds great but it's been a nightmare. Finances prevent me from staying home with my daughter like I would like to and my mother-in-law just really does whatever she wants. She really has made my home hers. I never know where anything is b/c she moves stuff around, she spoils my daugther not with things, but she babies her. (I know that's what grandmas do, but this is too much) But I feel it really is hindering her development. I'm out of space..But there is so much more. Do you get the gist?

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nangelsmom1031

Asked by nangelsmom1031 at 10:51 PM on Jan. 6, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • Oh yeah I totally understand, it really is hard to live with family...and sometimes if you live with family too long it ruins it. Well i'd say since you guys have such a great relationship than just sit down and talk to her, tell her how you feel about it. You are doing her a favor by letting her live with you guys the least she could do is respect you in your home. There is nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable in your own home. Just have a sit down, try to be nice and tell her what things you'd like to see change. OR if you don't think she'll want to sit down and listen to you maybe have your husband have a go at it, seeing how it is his mother.
    sexy_can_i

    Answer by sexy_can_i at 10:58 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • I would talk to you Dh about it and then both of you sit down and talk to her, explain to her that you have to cut back on things when you converge households, and give guidelines for what is and is not ok to do with you DD. IT might be tense after but it should get better.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 11:07 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Your husband really needs to handle his mom.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:23 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Thanks ladies for your responses. It is greatly appreciated. It is a little nerve wracking, she is a very proud women, but I know that's what I need to do. Thanks again, ladies!
    nangelsmom1031

    Answer by nangelsmom1031 at 9:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

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