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How should I take what my daughter said to me today?

Tonight after 2 months, my daughters father said he wanted to have one of his supervised visits. Him and his dad came to my door with presents for my daughter...I let them in and went and got my daughter. She sat on my lap clinging to me and crying. I kept telling her that she needed to go play with them. That he was her dad and she needs to play. I reminded her that he came the day after her birthday party, that is when she said it.... ," their mean." She turned into my chest and started crying harder. Then she repeated it.

I guess a little background. back in July a CPS and PD investigation was started toward him and his family. For 5 months we had no contact nor did he attempt to see her. Then his attorney contacted me, I had to get a new attorney ...CPS and PD came back saying, "There is need for concern, but not enough to do anything and we can't prove if it was him or a family member."

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Jan. 7, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • well, if your daughter says that then you have to talk to your daughter and ask her what happen and the dad . don't force your daughter to play with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Do not force her to do anything. Just keep talking quietly to her and log everything she says about him. Take pictures, video if you can.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Your child is telling you something. She just lacks the proper communication skills at her age to put it into words you will understand. DO NOT force her to spend time with him, DO NOT tell her she "has to go play with them" if they come visit. You are the one who protects her and makes her feels safe. Tell her she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to...(this also kind of applies to whatever abuse she suffered from them...really try to reinforce that she is in charge kind of thing).

    If I were you I would do everything in my power to ensure my child isn't forced into any more visits, even if they are supervised. I wish you luck...and I would stay on CPS and the PD to do their damned jobs. She is a child in need of protection and they are supposed to protect her. Grrr..
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:57 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • try to talk to her and find out why - it may end up being something minor, BUT dont ignore it
    good luck
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 7:05 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • if CPS was involved, there would be nothing that he or his fam could do to make me send my kid to them, i dont care if it is her dad...tell him to kick rocks until u know ur child is safe with them
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 8:51 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Don't ask make her play with them or she will start to not trust you either. With the history you have provided she has good reaosn not to want to play with them
    karamille

    Answer by karamille at 8:53 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Don't force her to play with hm or deal with him if she doesn't want to. After a few minutes he should have gotten the hint and left so you could calm her down. Forcing her to play with him is going to change how she trust you. Suggest to him not just to show up at the door also. If he wants to see he maybe he can give a weeks notice. That will buy you time to constantly remind her he's coming and she can prepare herself.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • I agree don't force her. Have you talked to the Dad?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • I'm on your daughers side on this one. Children in this age group don't make things up or fake feelings like this. There's a reason she's scared. Would reporting this behavior to your attorney or case worker help you out in any way?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

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