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Ugh!! I don't know what my SO's problem is, but he is been getting in a really bad mood whenever he walks through the door from work. I've asked him very nicely that what's wrong, his answer: NOTHING. for the past months we have been growing apart, and it seems that he doesn't care. All he care is sex, and that would be ok if everything else was ok. After a fight, and we really don't work it out, he still tries to do it. We been together for 9 yrs, married for 8, 2 beautiful kids, 5 yr old boy, and 4 month old baby girl. I thought I knew him, but I don't know who I'm sleeping with. Everytime I ask him for a favor, there he goes with this freaking face that I know that he is upset, come on I'm a SAHM, when I ask for a little break, he gets upset, and it's not even like for me to go out, it's to clean the kitchen after dinner, or TAKE A SHOWER. He complains to brush my boy's teeth, or put him to bed, but I'm (continue...)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Jan. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • since I'm breastfeeding it's hard to do everything myself. He needs to be in bed by 8:30, and my little ones goes to bed around that same time, which means that I'm feeding her. IDK, it must sound dumb, and not like a big deal, but little problems here and there has grown us apart, and I don't expect him exicted as before ( I had my 2nd child). He doesn't spend qualitly time with my son, all he does is watch SPORTS as soon as he walks into the house, until we go to sleep. Now I'm wondering what would my life be, if I had never married him. Is that right for me to think? Any suggestions? I'm tired of working this relationship myself only and not getting anything from him. I'm drained!! PLEASE HELP!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Between breastfeeding just TELL your DH, Like " watch the kids I am going to go take a shower or do the dishs or go to the store" Do not ask.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:30 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • HUGS!!! I do think you need to sit him down and let him know how you feel, and that you CAN'T do it all HE needs to help! I would let him know that he needs to be 'dad' to the kids and start doing his part, and instead of asking him to watch the kids, drop them in his lap and say "here, it is your turn to be the parent. I have things to do" and then go do your things.
    A marriage takes TWO people working at it, not just one. I don't know if this is an option or not, but I would suggest marriage/couples counseling. If he won't go, then you may want to consider going by yourself. I hope everything works out and wish you luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:47 AM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Alot of Men feel like if they work and you stay at home that you have it easier ( so wrong we all know!). They feel like they are doing their "part" just by going to work and bringing home a paycheck. So when they are off work they feel they should be "off work".. and because you are a SAHM the chores ( even when he is home) still fall on you. try to explain to him that you never get "off work".. that your job is 24 hrs round the clock and to be a good mom and wife you need "me time" as well as help with household things. Tell him that even if he took turns 3 times a week putting your son to bed you could get a small break and you would be happier and possibly more excited about intimacy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • tell him he has to earn sex by making you happy. give him a list of what he needs to change before you will agree to even kiss him again. see if he cares. if he makes an effort he loves you and is trying and he might just be that way... if he makes no effort that means the opposite and you should look into finding someone else or another living arrangement. test him to see where he is.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:24 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

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