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What to do with Ex's gf

My ex gets to see our daughter 3 times a week, but he lives with his gf and expects me to be okay with the fact that his gf will watch our child. We have a custody order but it is so vague he got it just so he wouldn't have to pay more money for support. I don't like his gf watching her at all!! I have told him that and he went crying to my brother who then told me I was being selfish. What because my ex is more worried about his activities then our own child!! Is there something I can do, without having to go talk to my lawyer or should I call him?

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Kelly_Marie528

Asked by Kelly_Marie528 at 4:12 PM on Jun. 25, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Just because you don't like his girlfriend does not mean a court will grant the wish of your child not being allowed around her. Now if you have reasons that would hold up in court for why then they might agree to it.
    TattooedBeauty

    Answer by TattooedBeauty at 4:40 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • That my dear, is an ultimate question. People have been asking that for years.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • It is OK for the Ex to have a girlfriend, and it is OK that he shares his life with her, and yes that includes your child. BE SMART! Keep a journal of the events and conversation that you have with the father. If you know that he is out write it in the journal and after six months turn copies into your lawyer. Then take court actions letting the judge know that the father is only spending a certain percentage of time with his child. You have to show a judge proof of history and the only way that can happen is if you keep a journal. Show his incompetence, and either have child visitation stop or revise the original court order in a whole. Keep in mind that the girlfriend is not an enemy. In fact she is a friend to the situation. Think before you react. Never let emotions speak for you. Let his actions and proof speak to the judge and your attorney. That is what I do and it is success every time.
    MissLady620

    Answer by MissLady620 at 5:27 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • Ok the visitation is for HIM to see his kid NOT her to watch the kid. When you know he isnt with his child call the police over there and GO there with the police and GET your kid back! Take the visitation order. NO cop will deniy you taking your child back espically when the GF is not on the custody/visitation order. have the cop document the incident and TAKE that report to your lawyer! document his neglest and get a new hearing to REDEFIN the order!
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 7:38 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I don't know what your going thru but i have step kids and their mother doesn't like me watching their kids. I say as long as the gf is treating your your daughter fine and isn't hurting then it should be ok. There isn't anything that can really be done unless there is abuse by the gf then you can take him to court and tell the judge that there is abuse by the gf while the father is out working or whatever it is.
    Bytch_mom_08

    Answer by Bytch_mom_08 at 9:47 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • If you have real reason to be concerned about your childs welfare in the care of the girlfriend then get your ducks in a row and bring her father back to court.

    If it's just a personality conflict or a territorial issue (sounds like that's what it is) then let it go because there's no need for the drama. If your child is being well taken care of, making a big deal out of the situation is what is going to harm your daughter not the girlfriend.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • Get your journal out then lawyer up!
    shanndarr

    Answer by shanndarr at 8:35 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • I am a GF who sometimes watches her SO's son. My BF works alot of hours and on the weekends he just needs some alone time, so I watch his son for a while. I think it makes him a better parent. Unless your ex's GF is harming ur daughter then you need to accept the new situation. I know it's hard to accept someone else watching ur child but ultimately your ex is no longer answerable to u so u can't constantly dictate who he lets spend time with ur daughter. Give your ex's GF a break; she may be a great addition to ur daughters life. I wanted to take my BF's son with us to London next year and the BM said no. She will never take him there and her decision means her son will miss out on a trip of a lifetime. Don't make it harder for ur daughter. Have a sit down the ex's GF, set some rules and boundaries that way you don't step on each other's toes.
    tawana12

    Answer by tawana12 at 7:10 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

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