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troubled son

i need some advice from other moms.my son is going on 12 soon. he doesnt want to go to school.. i have to fight with him. he beats up on his younger siblings.he smart mouths me to the point i want to smack him in his mouth.ive called the schhol counsler n nothing is being done..dad is ni help yup he lives here but might as well not hes pretty useless.n i dont think i should have to leave my own home cause of him..any suggestions.im ready to turn him over to the state TODAY...dont bash either i will report you

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Jan. 7, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • This is what I would do...only because my parents had to do these kinds of things to me in order for me to finally learn. Tell him, fine, you don't wanna go to school? Don't go to school. Then when he stops going to school....call the school or your police department and get a CHINS on him. It's like child probation almost. Then he will have to go to school, or suffer the consequences. That may be enough dicipline to help teach him a lesson...if not...then go further with it....
    michellelee3708

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 12:35 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Start giving your son jobs to do, keep him busy, tell him in no uncertain terms he will go to school even if you have to go and sit with him. You need to make it clear who's boss, and that's YOU! The busier you keep him, the less time he has to wallow in his own self pitty.. Help with laundry, clean rooms, scrub toilets, tubs, showers, shovel snow, wash trash cans, push ups, running in place. Wear him down and eventually he will come back to reality and learn to respect you. GL.. PM me if you need anymore tips..
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:38 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • hugsYour son may need more than what the school counselor can offer. The school counselor can help with academics and help get your son placed in an alternative academic setting but cannot help with the issues you are facing at home. Check into mental health in your area. They may suggest individual counseling for your son as well as family counseling. Many facilities will work with you on a sliding fee basis. It's good that you are looking for answers before your son becomes a teen. In most cases the state will not become involed unless there is abuse. The state will probably also suggest counseling. Being the mother of a troubled teen is heart wrenching . Stay strong.

    PrttyMstng

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 12:48 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Is there an undiagnosed learning disability and he is hating school as a consequence?
    Why he doesn't want to go? Is he been bullied, teased, etc.

    Have you taught him the importance of having an education? Is this behavior new? Could he be in drugs, danger from other kids bullying him and that is why he doesn't want to go? Talk to him, figure out what is at the root of his behavior. Whatever you do, don't give up on him. He needs you and as hard and frustrated as you can be right now, he is your son and nobody but you can help him.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 12:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • my thoughts exactly , Im with bebita.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:58 AM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • I would check with your health care provider about any possible learning difficulties he's having and ask him/her about counseling for your son. Good luck mama your in my prayers.
    huny9701

    Answer by huny9701 at 11:22 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

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