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omg what can i do with this kid

i need some advice from other moms.my son doesnt want to go to school.. i have to fight with him. he beats up on his younger siblings.he smart mouths me to the point i want to smack him in his mouth.ive called the schhol counsler n nothing is being done..dad is ni help yup he lives here but might as well not hes pretty useless.n i dont think i should have to leave my own home cause of him..any suggestions.im ready to turn him over to the state TODAY...dont bash either i will report you

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Jan. 7, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • His behavior is consistent with pre teen years. You shouldn't expect for the public school system to do anything about it, he is your responsibility. You can call the school and have them send a truant officer to get him or something, this might make him open his eyes to the fact that he needs to mind his elders until he is old enough at least. It seems to me you want to give up too easily, I agree these are cries for help apperantly falling on deaf ears. You calling him useless is not helping matters, I sure hope you don't say this to him.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:07 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Military school? Is he in high school? Do they have an ROTC program? Big brothers? He sounds troubled have you sought out private counseling? Depending on how old he is you could ask him to leave, but I would suggest tough love,,,,so sorry momma!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Have you tried private counseling? Is the behavior new or just the way he's always been? If it is new, maybe there is something going on that he's not talking about for whatever reason. If it is not new, then maybe it is time to start seeking some serious help for your family, as your DS' behavior affects all of you, not just him, and I'm everyone would benefit from being able to talk about & learn how to handle your DS' behaviors. Some kids act out about school because they are being bullied, while others do it because they have an undiagnosed learning disability & they feel "stupid" or they're tired of struggling, etc. Sometimes the problem is a staff member and sometimes, especially with teens, it's a "love" thing. But if you don't start pushing the issue with him, you're never going to know, kwim?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • 1) you can't leave parenting up to the school counselors, it's not their job to handle things when you are having issues with him.
    2) have you tried actually talking to him?
    3) send him to job corps.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Report me report me.

    He is your child and he got to that point gradually so you are partially responsible for whatever you have helped to create. Before things got that bad, there were signs. First you don't talk about love for your child and how much this is hurting you and how much he is hurting as well, so all you talked about was your inconveniences and it was all about you. You choose your husband, you decided to have children so deal with it. Who told you that being a mom was easy or a walk on the park? So turning him to the state will make your child's problematic behavior everybody else's problem.

    Accountability, look it up.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 12:44 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Your son is crying out for help and he is asking in the only way he knows for sure will get your attention. He is at a crucial point in his life, and he really needs guidance from someone to whom he can relate. In most cases, that would be his dad, but apparently, that is not an option. Were I where you are today, I would call some local churches and ask if they have a mentoring program for young men such as your son. Quite often, there are those mature men who have successfully raised their families who are willing to mentor troubled teens. They are gifted to do this and see it as a type of ministry. I don't know where you live but it would certainly be worth making a few phone calls. If that isn't available, how about an uncle or a grandfather or a neighbor? There comes that point in a boy's life when he really needs strong male guidance, and it sounds like your son has reached that point.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:45 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • First, I hope you have stoped doing things ofr him. Taken away his computer,cell phone anything extra that is not a need. Stop washing his cloths, Take his house key away from him. Tell him to go get a job, because you are not giving him anymore money. As soon as he turns 18, kick him out.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:49 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • i cant throw him out i puit this in teens wrong section hes going on 12 .. n for those rude ones no he has never done this before its new..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Wow only 12....that's sad. You definitely need to get that boy someone to talk to to find out what is causing his anger. And why he doesn't want to go to school. Does he have good grades? Has he ever been tested for a learning disability? Is be being bullied perhaps? Is he angry at his "father" for not being interested in his life? Do you only have the 2 children or are there more kids?
    You have many questions to answer before you can figure out what he needs in the way of help. Make an appointment with the school to start and find out what the issues are there, and make him go to the meeting with you so he is aware of what is happening and how serious it is.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:01 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Lets see mouthing off, not wanting to go to school and beating up siblings (as long as it's not real harm but more like a power thing)......sounds like a normal beginning of the teen years for a boy to me. And the moms who are beating the OP up for this- how old are your kids?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Jan. 7, 2010