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What if you ex's new gf was.....slow.....

Well my ex wants to start taking to the kids over weekend even those he never has before and I was talking to my friend last night and she said his new gf was nice/sweet but kinda slow (she knows her, I don't know her)....., well she has no kids, will she be able to take care of mine???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Jan. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • no one on the internet can answer this one for you. we don't know her! LOL

    now if it's just an occasional thing, I wouldn't worry about it, especially if your ex is there while she's "watching" them.

    I would worry about it if he was trying to get full custody or something.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • I wouldn't let my kids be around a woman I didn't know overnight. Maybe start with half days and see how it goes. How old are your children?
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:24 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • I would not judge her & make the determination that she is slow, or mentally retarded. Maybe you should meet her first & decide that for yourself. Anyway, their dad's going to be there. It's not like he plans on leaving them alone together for the weekend. She may not be slow anyway. I have a friend who has a speech impediment & lots of jerky people think she is slow, or retarded. WELL, she is none of those, she has a college degree from UGA & is very smart. She just has a weird speech impediment & judgemental people take her for being slow. So maybe you should meet her first & decide that for yourself before making that judgement call.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:28 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • I think that if he has been taking care of the prior, her being there won't affect it, plus she might have just said this to make you feel good, if you super worried, why not meet her? I think you have a right to meet anyone who will be around your kids!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:32 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • If it were me, I'd just want to meet her before letting her hang out with my kids alone. Are you on good terms with your ex? Can you have them over for dinner or something? I'd want to spend a little time with anyone who was going to watch my kids regardless of their "speed."
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 1:32 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • You can have a low IQ and be good and safe with kids. My son has an 80 IQ and is great with his brother's son. He even took first aid and CPR because he wanted to and was proud to pass. When he is with his nephew he gives him 100% of his attention, how many adults do that?
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 1:34 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • I guess what she means she is not that educated kind of dingie but I think as far as the kids she will be ok if your ex thinks so.
    You should ask him if you should meet her bc if he is planning to be with someone else it is always nice to meet people who will be around your kids. I am sure things will work out just fine...it's the bitchy ones you have to look out for...lol they just might take it out on your kids...Meet her first. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 1:35 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • OP HERE---No the father has not taken care of them---and has had some close call accidents in his care, and he doesn't want me to meet her---the kids are 5 and 9 and they have no phone and my kids dont have cell phones or know who to use one (a cellphone) so they could call me if they needed me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • It's not her responsibility to take care of YOUR kids. She is his girlfriend, not their mother.
    It is the father's responsibility to take care of HIS children, not his girlfriend's.

    If they've had close call accidents with the father, and they have no emergency access (phone) then I wouldn't let them stay the night with them. OR even go over there. I would make him come over to visit them where they're safe.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:54 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • my ex's new gf has one daughter that seems a lil "off" and she can't spell and can't use proper grammar. i'm ok with her watching my son bc i know it's my job to make sure he's using etiquitte (sp?lol). as long as she isn't abusive to my ex around my kid i don't care, though he deserves all she gives!!! and if i hear anything about her fighting with the nieghbors or anyone else in their town i would nix it immediately. she has been known to make, well, let's say, "commotions". so i just sit back and wait. she better hope for her sake she doesn't do it around my son at all.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 2:48 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

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