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My hubby won't be affectionate with me.. Disinterested in sex, too. Anyone else's DH react this way to you having a baby? *Sex question

My DH only is "affectionate" when I say I want sex. And then he is rushed and has said he wishes I'd be like a "light switch" and just turn on myself.

And now I always have to literally say I want sex.

It used to be he'd give me a lot more affection or do nice things like call during his lunch to tell me I was sexy and be nice all day and be extra helpful and I knew it was because he wanted sex..

When I wanted sex I'd give him massages or dress really sexy.. And I try to dress sexy now or massage and he isn't into it or falls asleep.

This has been since the baby was born that he has been very disinterested in sex, affection, and sometimes he's actually mean. 10 months now.

I don't know what happened :( I feel starved for affection cause he'll pull away from me when I touch him and he doesn't ever touch me anymore.

I didn't get fat... I've asked him what is going on and he says nothing.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Jan. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (1)
  • I suspect that your husband feels that he is no longer top priority in your affections. This often happens after the birth of a child. He may not even realize why he feels the way he does toward you, but he is affected by all the attention that once was given to him now being given to the baby. Of course, little babies need a lot of attention, but I wonder if you greet your husband at the door when he comes home in the evening? Or do you take the time every day to do some little something that is just for him and that says "I love you just for being you." Women often fail to recognize that their husbands have very tender feelings, just as we do. They are just not as vocal in expressing them as we are. Husbands can feel like the only time they are wanted is when the wife wants sex. You will never hear one of them say that though. What you will notice is that he withdraws farther and farther into himself.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:04 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

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