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Why did I do this?

Does anyone else feel like they just can't handle motherhood? Im a stay at home mom with a one year old and I can't take it. I feel like I don't even like her anymore. She is constantly screaming and wants nothing, from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to bed. I've tried feeding her, changing her, Tylenol, going to the park, watching her favorite shows, playing with her having her take a nap everything I can think of. Even taking her to the dr. and getting every test imaginable and nothing is wrong with her. I was euphoric when she was born. I didn't want a baby but when she got here I couldn't have been happier and now all I can think is what have I done. HELP!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Jan. 7, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (7)
  • My best advice is to just stick it out for now. They all go through stages. When she's screaming or throwing a fit, put her in a playpen or her crib, put her in her room with the door open, and just go into another room (where you can still hear her but you're not interacting with her) and she will start to realize that when she's acting like that, mom's not going to listen to it. She's still really young, but she is old enough to understand that. It does get better. If you are feeling really bad about it, you might want to seek some counseling for yourself. It's not a bad thing. Good luck and best wishes!
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 4:02 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • She is probably feeling your stress. If you can have daddy watch her for the day on a weekend and then you get out of the house on your own even if it is to grocery shop, you will appreciate what time you do have with her. Maybe you have a close friend or family member that can take her over night. You would be surprised how much better you fell when they get home. I have to send my 18 mo away for a day or so every few months so that I can recharge my batteries because she is a lot of work. I wish you luck.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 4:03 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Oh also should have added, once she stops throwing the fit, go in and get her as if it had never happened.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 4:03 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • i agree with both the posts above. My son started throwing HUGE fits at bedtime around 1 yr and once i figured out it was just because he doesn't want to go to sleep, not seperation anxiety cuz he will do it with my in the room as well. I just started leaving him to cry, in a safe enviroment.

    After dealing with him being premie and colicy I was pretty good with tuning out his crying so that it didn't bother me as much, of course by then i knew his different cries for hurt or temper tantrum.

    I agree that you need a little time for yourself to recharge. Do your parents or his paternal grandparents live close by or any other family that could take for one night? If so schedule some relaxation time and some fun time for yourself.

    You can't take care of you kids if you don't take care of yourself first.

    good luck and hold in there, it will get easier...eventually.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 4:08 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Motherhood is just a relatonship between a mother and a child and just like any relationship,motherhood also has its ups and downs!!! Absolutely no one tells you how hard it can be-misery loves company!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • does she like water? bath time swims showers playing with bowls of water etc.......whenever my dd gets irritable I just mention water and she lights up. I have a very happy baby however and it has taken alot of me being focused on being in the moment. I have had a rough year in my relationship and have wanted to leave and go back to my home country NZ every single day and my dd picks up on my anxiety and if ever she was going to play up those times would be them. I have had to turn my moods around and just think about what is best for her and not let her think she is the problem.......I make sure I put a smile on my face and have a soft tome put on nice music and try different things like have her help me with chores etc (she is 14 months) she just wants to be around Mummy constantly and I used to let it stress me out but she is not about to stop wanting me for awhile so I have to work in with her and enjoy it, You won't get t
    Kiwi66

    Answer by Kiwi66 at 3:23 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • get these times back again and I have actually ended up having a much better time. I too am stay at home and I do need time out I go to a masters swim squad tues and thurs evgs and swim saturdays and go to a Unity church alone on Sundays so Daddy gets time with her and she learns Mummy needs time out. Not sure you have any support with friends and family, I don't and even DH never understood and used to say " other Mothers do it without complaining" used to drive me nuts. I taught him what it is like by leaving him with her alone more and more. Being inside with cold weather also doesn't help a child needs stimulation I do not get out much but hope to soon we share a car which makes it hard. How about a gym class or music etc perhaps your child is trying to let you know let's do something different. I think they get frustrated as they cannot communicate clearly either.I am no expert each day is a challenge but a gift from God
    Kiwi66

    Answer by Kiwi66 at 3:29 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

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