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Are you ok with your husband watching porn alone?

I am getting married, and my bf was saying that him watching porn will not be something he will be doing once we are married. Should I say good, or tell him if he wants to continue watching it that it isn't a problem with me??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Jan. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • It's up to you. How do you feel about it? If it doesn't bother you, say so. If it drives you insane, say so. Men are very...oblivious. They don't always know how we feel about stuff, so we have to tell them. Personally, I have no problem with porn. My only problem with it is if it begins to affect our sex life. If we suddenly aren't having sex (or aren't having sex as often) b/c he's watching porn, then yes, I am going to have a problem with it.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:18 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • it's up to your personal beliefs on this one.

    you will have women tell you that porn is evil, others tell you that they don't care.

    I personally don't mind my husband watching it because he has more of a sex drive than I do, so the porn means I get pestered a little less ;)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • He sounds like a sweetie...! I consider it disloyal simply because when they view porn and then have sex with us and close their eyes, they are seeing these other women in their head...I hate that! Maybe he feels that would be disloyal to you. Your lucky!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Well honey, he may have good intentions about quitting once he is "married" but he won't stop. I'm not saying this to be mean or pick on him, it's just that he already watches it and marriage does not change that. If he has never been married before he may think that as soon as he says "I do" it will change him, but it won't. It's a personal choice. I don't mind my hubby watching it OCCASSIONALLY. One time I found that he was watching it every single day and sometimes twice a day for a week, and we were not having sex. That is a problem, I confronted him about it, told him I would not compete with porn for his attentions. He stopped. He has watched a pay per view movie back in Sept and two movies in December, but that has been it since about May of last year, so I don't care about that. We have a great sex life and he takes care of business, so no big deal if he watches once in a while.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 4:17 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • I don't care. It doesn't bother me a bit. He gets off work so late that most of the time, I'm too tired, so we usually only do it on his nights off.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • I would not encourage him to continue to watch though. Be careful about that. At one point I had told my husband fine, if you are going to watch it then watch it. That's when it became a problem and it was a constant thing, because he felt he had my "permission" to watch as much as he wanted. So don't jump the gun and tell him it's okay, watch all you want. He is trying to be respectful of you so encourage that behavior in him. I just didn't want you to assume he will give it up forever just because you get married, it doesn't usually work that way.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 4:20 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • My fiance watches it alone and so do I. We also watch it together (though all of this is rare for us). It is really sweet that he even asked you this!!! I would be honest with him and tell him whether you really want him to or not so that you don't run into any other problems later.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 5:12 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • There's a good possibility that he is already addicted to it and couldn't stop no matter how badly he wanted to nor how much he thinks he can. I would want a trial period with him not looking at it with proof that he wasn't before the nuptials. He can promise you anything, but the real question is whether he can or will deliver. I'm betting he can't. Pornography is nothing more than adultery of the mind. Every time he looks at those women, he is fantasizing about what he is doing with them, and not you. I would never, ever be willing to share my husband with another woman, whether present, in a picture or on a video.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:32 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Absolutely not, my husband used to do it all the time and I thought there was nothing wrong with that but he began to look at all women on the street and his work , ended up having an affair!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Whats with all these porn questions today? lol porn is not a big deal. If you're okay with him watching...then tell him he can continue....what can it hurt?
    michellelee3708

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 6:12 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

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