Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what's an alternative?

what's an alternative to spanking? my 19 month old dd does not understand the meaning of no (at least she acts like she doesn't know the meaning lol)..if i tell her not to do something she bullies her way to it..such as if i tell her she cannot have my wallet (she likes to pull the cards out of it) and are stern about it, she'll throw it or go and hit something and throw a complete tantrum...i want to try time outs, but don't have any designated spots and don't quiet know how to "explain" time out to her OR has anyone tried something and it worked better than time out..i do not believe that spanking is wrong, but it's an extreme that should only be used in extreme situations (which isn't anytime soon at all)..so any advice or tips or anything? lol

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Jan. 7, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • Set her in a chair and say your in time out and you won't leave until you behave. But for her age 2 min top. don't allow talking or toys or for her to watch TV. And if they doesn't work try sending her to her room not really much else I can think of since she is so young.
    ainstalshia

    Answer by ainstalshia at 4:57 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Time-outs do work, and toddlers understand more than we give them credit for. My own was a climbing, trashing things, terror until I finally decided to follow supernanny's advice and do time-outs.

    The key is making sure you are down on their level when you tell them why they went to time out, and consistency. If you give her a time out for something one time, but not the next, she'll never figure it out. My son hasn't tried to climb my desk or his dresser in months since I finally tried it. It was a miracle!
    Sharon7772

    Answer by Sharon7772 at 5:00 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • sharon7772:

    did you stay there and make sure he stayed in the same spot?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Time outs do work for toddlers. We used the "sad chair", a plastic thing from a garage sale. It sat in a corner in the living room.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:13 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • We also would put her blanket in the closet for a half hour; the worst punishment of all
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:15 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • "did you stay there and make sure he stayed in the same spot? "

    Yes, if they get up and take off, you just keep putting them back until they stay for the full 2 minutes. Standing up or lying down is fine as long as she doesn't leave the "naughty spot".

    Then kneel down and look her in the eye and again tell her why she is there and then since she can't say "sorry" yet, just ask for/give loves and kisses.
    Sharon7772

    Answer by Sharon7772 at 5:23 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • At this age, you say "No" and remove the wallet and put it where she can't reach it. When she then throws herself on the floor and has a fit you stay calm and ignore the kicking and screaming. If you can't remove the object then you remove her. Eventually she will start to respond to and listen to NO.
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 6:06 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • My 16m old does the same thing - with the wallet, and with the behavior in general - lashing out or biting. What has helped is a very calm but stern "no" and calm redirection. I was losing my brain with him going from one thing to another, like he knew he was pushing my buttons, haha. Next time she pulls out the wallet - grab a toy, squat down to her level and say "no" and give her the toy. Maybe even move her to a different area. I've had to really work on being mellow and showing a sad face when saying no - since he doesn't get the spaz "NO!" that he used to get from me (which was way more entertaining for him), he's more easy going with the redirection. Good luck mama!
    mevxoxo

    Answer by mevxoxo at 7:48 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Time outs are really not recommended for kids under 2. They don't have the ability to sit still or understand what the time out is for anyway. With my son who is 17mths we just use distractions. Most of the time that works. He does know what no means, but will throw a tantrum if you say it to him.
    table4eight

    Answer by table4eight at 9:31 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN