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how could i get my husband to realize that taking care of 2 kids that are only 1 yr and 9 months apart is hard work?

He just gets home from work and starts yelling because i tell him if he could hold my daughter so i could serve him food,or take a shower etc. He always ends up telling me how i'm a bad mother because i ask for help. How I am lazy etc.I try to explain how im always having to tak ea shower at midnight evryday. We always end up getting into arguments for this .I'm getting really frusterated and dont know what to do anymore. Please Help!

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Jan. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • He is probably cranky b/c he worked all day (not an excuse!) but im sure he thinks its easier to sit at home with kids then work all day.. Im def. not saying I agree with him, but i think you are both VERY tired and you could def. use help.. Do you give him time to unwind when he first gets home before asking for help? Maybe give him like 30 mintues, then you get 30 minutes to do whatever you want with each night.. you deserve AT LEAST that much!

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 8:59 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Tell him you're going to take your kids and stay with family for a few days... Maybe he will then realize how much he misses you and treat you with more respect.. It's either that or have him take care of the kids all day by himself, then he will see how much you do.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:59 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Leave the kids with him for a full weekend. When he gets home Friday after work be ready and packed to go. Do not leave instructions. Make sure everything he will need is there. He will figure it out. Don't come back until after dinner Sunday night.

    If my husband spoke to me like that he would regain consciousness laying outside on the lawn with his crap piled on top of him.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 9:02 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • "If my husband spoke to me like that he would regain consciousness laying outside on the lawn with his crap piled on top of him. "

    HAHAHAHAHA!! That made me laugh out loud.. Ditto though!! I agree with this!

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 9:18 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Go away for a weekend...

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:21 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • my husband knows it is hard work. He tells me how much his work is a nice BREAK from the kids lol. He use to complain when the laundry would pile up, but since our third baby was born, I left him alone with the kids for 12 hours because I had to help my father when his sister died.
    He sent me a text message every half hour asking when I would come home because the baby was crying or what he needed to make for the boys, where are the diapers etc.... When I came home I asked him, "do you understand why I am so nuts at the end of the day?" That is when he told me his work is a nice break mwahahahah!

    Leave your guy with the kids ALL saturday or something maybe he'll appreciate what you do a little more.

    Answer by Julie522 at 9:21 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • I completely agree with all of the ladies (maybebaby83, that was hilarious!) You need to leave him alone for more than just a day. Have a mini-getaway with some girlfriends. It's much deserved for us moms and it will give him a taste of what parenting is all about it.

    Answer by nangelsmom1031 at 10:00 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • Leave him alone, go away for a few days...bla bla bla..

    You married a big baby.....I doubt anything you do will make him grow up..and if it does it will only be for a short
    period of time...

    If I was you, I would lay down the law. Tell him what you need from him. Guys have to be told things...

    If that doesn't work then you are looking at a future of just you doing everything.

    Answer by Dannee at 10:31 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • ok give him 30 min to unwind after work every work day, also sit down with me away from the kids & really tell him how you feel & how stress you are, I also think you should go to a family members house leaving the kids with him along with a list of things you normally get done, also I suggest you two going to counseling. please let him know calling you lazy is not ok & you won't put up with it.
    Make a list of everything you do laundry, cooking, etc.. write next to it how much it would cost if done by someone else & the next time he calls you lazy give him a bill.. when he asks "whats this?" tell him its his bill for all you have done.

    Answer by maiahlynn at 11:01 PM on Jan. 7, 2010

  • im right with you there sista, try having two kids 10.5 months apart and try telling him how its hard my husband and i fight constantly because of it he thinks i can take care of the 2 babies ( breastfeed one, feed the other one, change 2 diapers, breastpump) and clean house on top of it all so i wish i could help you there

    Answer by Mommy2Be1212009 at 12:32 AM on Jan. 8, 2010

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