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Why can't I find anyone that will treat me right?

I'm attractive, smart, I have a good job and take care of myself. I don't have any biological children but I raised my stepdaughter and now that her father and I are no longer together she still comes and stays with me all the time. My ex husband wasn't a bad guy, he just wouldn't hold down a job, and just couldn't be a husband to me. The last guy I dated took advantage of me, I loved him so much and it hurt so bad to let him go, but I know now it was for the best. I'm over him, I feel like I'm ready to move on but I'm not in a big hurry. I want to make sure this time around I get someone who has it together and wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. Any tips on how to find someone like that? I want someone who wants to take care of me, who worries about me and someone that just cares about me. I'm so sick of giving my all to jerks who give nothing in return!!! Continued....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Jan. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • My sister had the BEST husband in the world and left him for a married man, but now she's in a relationship with a wonderful man who loves her and her 3 children. He pays for everything, does things for them, and she will never do without as long as he is in the picture. She wasn't single AT ALL, she went from one to the other...is she just lucky or does she have something I don't? It's just SO frustrating!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Don't look so hard. Just live your life. The *Right* one for you will come along soon enough, but if you are looking to hard
    you could look right past him...
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 11:04 AM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Do a back ground check on a potential SO. Do not FALL for the guy so quickly. Get to know him slowly before saying I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:14 AM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Take a class, do volunteer work, join an active religious community, just do something different to meet new people and make new friends; remember: a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:17 AM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • I would try to not compare yourself with your sister. What if she is really unhappy but stays with the guy because he's a good provider? You never know. I think you need to be happy single before you can be happy with someone else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Sounds like you want perfection but you will never get that. You need to be of the mindset you don't need a man and can take care of yourself. Good men want a confident woman who is complete without him. I have a great husband we met and one of the things he liked about me was I didn't expect him to take care of everything he knew I would be a partner. I am a SAHM now but I still am confident and know I could work as a CPA anytime I needed. I don't expect my husband to be everything to me I just expect him to be my partner and do things with me not always for me.

    I think you need to change your view on men and look for one you can be a partner with and not expect him to take care of you. Your sisters guy probably isn't as great as you think if he is with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • I like what rkoloms said.

    When you stop looking and start enjoying being with yourself that is when you will be ready for someone.

    When you feel you need a man to make you happy than you are not ready for dating.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 12:04 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Don't feel bad, most people are jerks and users. You know in your heart your sister is one. She doesn't care about the men she picks but only what they can do for her. I advise you to set your radar to quickly weed out people who are only out for themselves. There are many good people in this world. They usually aren't as friendly or aggressive to date as the users are. Maybe you need tdo sit down and make a list of places you go and people you know and you might already know someone good who hasn't come on to you but would be interested in you. Dating is a numbers game and while some people are lucky, you should never settle for the one who is easiest to catch. You deserve self respect just to know you aren't a user. Your sister is and she will never truly be happy. When you find a true relationship which is what you desire, you will be fulfilled in ways which will make her green with envy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

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