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needed advise urgently

hi moms a friend of mine who is a single mom with four kids is invited by her online friend boyfriend to New Zealand so that they could get married. She's happy that she has found happiness at last,but she's kind of skeptical about the whole thing because she doesn't know the guy well enough to marry him due to the fact that they have not dated in reality and also scared that if the guy happen to be bad and force her into slavery or prostitution Do you think Its wise for her to go with what is happening in the world today Women and Child trafficking etc,

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Jan. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • No, she needs to find a man near her, there are too many men out here, to rish her life, and her kids....
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 12:38 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Tell her to take off her blinders. If he cares that much for her he can come to the states and visit? Is there a reason he won't..or perhaps can't come to the states? She is sucked in to whatever this 'guy' has told her. She may be viulnerable due to other issues..but if she goes she is plain being ignorant. The internet is a damgerous place. People pose as all kinds of things...all the time.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:39 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • No. If she wants to continue the relationship, he needs to come to the US to meet her. I would never advise people to marry if they aren't ready - and to marry if they haven't truly met yet? You didn't mention how long they had been communicating via the internet, but things can seem very different online from how they truly are in real life.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:48 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • She shouldnt go!!! If she really likes him and wants to meet him she should insist that he come to her!!
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 12:52 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • I would make him cone to me first. I would not go to a foreign country for some man. If he wants her bad enough, he can come to the states & meet her here.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:59 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • She should absolutely not go, for her kids sake, what if something happens to her. common sense!!!!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Seriously? Nobody with even an ounce of common sense would consider that. Definitely do not go. No, no, no.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 1:34 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • I'd spend the money to have him checked out. I went to Scotland twice to get married and they turned out fine even though I decided I didn't like the guys well enough to marry them. I had them checked out though to make sure they were not serial killers. I think you are correct in your concerns. Going to other countries can be sticky. She doesn't even know if he's a real person. I'd go so far as to contact the American Consulate there and see if there is some sort of online scam that isn't known here in the U.S. They may also look the guy up for free.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:40 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • No. She would be very, very foolish to go anywhere to meet this guy, much less out of the country.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:31 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

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