Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why don't mothers who don't want their children give custody to the fathers?

I know everyone, in defense will scream "the dad is abusive" (and I'm not speaking on those rare occurrences) or "he doesn't know how to raise a baby" Why are there so many programs and support to help women, but none to help the men who actually WANT their children? Why do women feel more entitled when it takes two to create a child? Why so intent on keeping a child from their father?

This is in reference to the journal post about the missing little boy.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Jan. 8, 2010 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I have no clue why. When my husband and I divorced I put my kids first and they see their daddy. If more parents loved their kids more than they hate their ex many children would do better after a divorce. My ex left me for another woman but again it was always about my kids. I have never said a bad word about their father and he doesn't about me. I am nice to the other woman as they are married now I don't like her or him but I love my kids and they deserve to have peace. I wish more moms were like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Which journal post, can you link it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Jan. 8, 2010


    Really sad story. But ending seems to be promising

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Should be ex husband. I am remarried so I want to be very

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • sounds like she didnt want to be responsible for any of that childs life and didnt want to pay child support or have the dad have him becouse she wants the dad to hurt.i dont think its right when u have to bring kids into it.i hope they find him alive!

    Answer by angelairelan at 3:33 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • I have wondered this myself because I was raised by a single father who did a fantastic job while my mother could not be bothered with my brother or me. I found it frustrating that my family was treated as different because there was no mom. None of my friends had fathers in the home and that was treated as normal.

    Answer by Luuckymommy at 4:59 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • I know that the courts favor the mother when there is a custody battle, but when the mother wants to make an adoption plan, the father does have a right to ask for custody. The courts should honor his wishes as long as he is fit. In my DS's case, the birthfather is an unknown (a guy in a bar). DD's birthfather was homeless and involved in drugs and crime at the time. Neither of them wanted custody, so the children were placed for adoption as their birthmothers wanted.

    I haven't had a chance to look at the post you're talking about. I'll have to try to read it when I get time.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 6:13 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • I think society is so quick to bash the bad fathers, but put no energy into supporting the ones who take care of their children. It is sad!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • If there were more men willing and ready to raise a child who needed help doing so, I think there would be programs for them. However, I think the numbers of men who need that kind of help are probably not large enough to create the need. I would imagine there is some help for fathers who need it though. As for being intent on keeping a child from its father, I think that is wrong if the dad is willing and able to parent. I don't think that happens very often though, but when it does it is tragic.

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:39 AM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Sorry but I have to disagree with you about the "rare occurances" of abuse. I believe the stastic is now 1 out of every 3 women will be abused by a boyfriend/husband/father in their lifetime. 33% of women is NOT rare.
    Lets face it stupid people hang out with stupid people. Chances are if the woman is unfit to raise her own child than she most likely got knocked up by someone equally as stupid who can't raise the child either. I do agree that men should have more of a say so in whether or not the baby is adopted.

    As for the missing AZ baby, I live in the same city as them. Many reports are coming out that the dad is not much better than the mom. There have been several domestic violence calls to their household. Several child abuse claims. And a lot of immature behavior from both of them. Many of their neighbors have come forward and said he isn't a great guy either.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 AM on Jan. 9, 2010