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Seriously... would this piss you off? Or am I just being overly sensitive and hormonal? lol

Okay... here's a little background info... me and my fiance have been together for 5 yrs, we have two kids plus twins on the way.

We almost split up a few yrs ago because I found out that he had somewhat of an addiction to porn... he was looking at it online every single day and kept lying to me about it, swearing he had stopped, and then still doing it behind my back. This may not seem like a big deal to some women but it is to ME... sooo... we almost broke up because he would not stop and kept lying about it.

We are doing good now... he hasn't looked at it in over a year... as far as I know. And trust me, I do my share of snooping and investigating so I'm sure I would know if he did.

Anyway, today I was looking through our DVR recordings and I noticed he had recorded "Eyes Wide Shut." Anyone who has seen this movie or even heard about it knows that it's pretty much porn that made it to theaters and was rated "R." (Cont.


Asked by JenMarie2007 at 5:59 PM on Jan. 8, 2010 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • No, i dont think your overreacting. i think you need to realize that he may never stop this - and unfortunatley, in a way, it shows how much he cares about your feelings. you have to stop and ask yourself, is this what you want for the rest of your life? is it worth it? think long & hard and decide what you want to do. i broke up with my SO because i told him from the beginning i was not okay with porn, and he did it anyway. and that was the end of that.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 6:16 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Seriously ... the whole movie is nothing but a bunch of sex and nudity ... it might as well be in the porn section... for real. I have never see a "normal" movie with so much sex and nudity... sex is basically the SUBJECT of the whole movie.

    So, I feel like this is his way of being able to watch stuff like that and get away with it because it's not "technically" PORN. But, to me, it is still unacceptable. I already feel unattractive enough at this point and it just makes me feel really insecure when he watches porn. He knows this and has swore that he wouldn't do it anymore.

    So what would you think? I feel like he knows this would bother me because it is no different than actual porn... but if I bring it up to him he's just gonna say "It's not porn." and he's gonna argue with me about it.

    So what do you think? Do I have a right to be upset or am I overreacting????

    Answer by JenMarie2007 at 6:02 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • wow! he needs help but no i dont think you are overreacting to this. You have every right to be mad especially becasue you two have kids together and they cant be seeing that type of stuff! i would keep a Close eye on him..

    Answer by Naralie at 6:03 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Well, our kids aren't old enough to work the remote/DVR and I know he wouldn't watch it in front of them. I think he watches it while I'm at work... I work night shift and he is always complaining that we don't have sex enough because I am not home at night... I'm at work.... so I'm pretty sure he watches after I leave for work.

    Answer by JenMarie2007 at 6:05 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • you need to make it clear that you two have kids and that thats not healthy for the family especially if he knows your insecure! if he argues make it clear taht your not going to tolerate it any longer

    Answer by Naralie at 6:05 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • The porn wouldnt bother me nearly as much as having kids with a man who wouldnt fully commit to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:14 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • and believe me, not all guys look at porn. my new SO said that growing up with 3 sisters & his mom made him not be able to look at porn because of how degrading it is to women. and that he wouldnt want someone watching his sisters having sex with a bunch of random guys.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 6:17 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • i think you shouldnt be too confident because thats how a sister was with her father inlaw hes addicted to porn and one day she left her 2 daughters with him and we told he rbe carefull and what if he does something to them she said no i dont think hell watch it infront of them or do anyhting! so like 2 days later her 2 daughter s said that their g pa was seein girls and guys licking and touching eachother and they pointed to their private parts..{ i want you to know im not judging you in any way} wish you the best

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • I have one question I need answered before I can say if you are overreacting or not: Did he know what the movie was all about before he recorded it? I ask this b/c I did see it yrs ago when it came out on DVD, my ex-husband rented it and I had no idea what it was about until we watched it. So....if he genuinely didn't know what it was about, then yes, I would say you are overreacting. BUT, if he did know what it was about, then no, you're no overreacting. If he knew what it was about, then he is trying to use a technicality to get off the hook on this one, and that's not cool.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:27 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Yes, he knew. He never saves movies to the DVR unless he has seen them before and liked them ... or he starts watching it and is interested in it. And with this movie, you can tell pretty much from the beginning what it's all about. I just don't understand what he was thinking ... he had to have known I would see it on there. Maybe he thinks that I'm stupid and I don't know what the movie is about. LoL

    Answer by JenMarie2007 at 6:30 PM on Jan. 8, 2010