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Why couldn't I get it right?

2 days ago I dropped my daughter off at the hospital and walked away. I tried to be a good mother, but I couldn't. She cried constantly and I always felt depressed. Why couldn't I just get it right? =(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Jan. 8, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (6)
  • Being a mom is hard work. Babies are not always happy and smiling. My son cried a lot and I cried with him, at times. There is no Magic formula for being a good mom. some people are "good moms" because they have children who are easy to please. I don't know anything about you, so I can't really answer your question.

    It sounds as if you are struggling with the entire situation, from your struggle to be a mom to your recent decision to pass your daughter into foster care (which I am sure was painful and excruciatingly difficult) I can't even tell you if your decision was "right" or "wrong," just that it was yours to make and live with.

    If possible, I feel you may want to seek out a professional to talk to and discuss all these feelings you are having. A good counselor, therapist, psychologist, whatever will not judge you and will simply help you deal with all the emotions that have you tied up in knots right now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • it's really hard to be a parent especially if you werent expecting to get pregnant... me and my dh have thought about giving ours up .. we wouldnt do it but we have thought about it .. i never wanted kids and ended up pregnant on accident didnt think i was able to have kids which was fine with me i could of lived without one but now i had one and it's my responsiblity to take care of em regardless of how much i hate it at times i just hope it gets better ... im sorry it was so hard for you that you had to give yours up :( you should of sought some help gone to a therapist or psychologist they could of helped you cope a little better with the crying and depression alot of women on here are going to hate on you for doing what you did but i do understand and im sorry it had to end that way :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • why didn't you just get some help from your doc? you obviously have postpartumdepression. at least you didn't leave the baby in a dumpster.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 9:28 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • You still need to find a professional to talk to, even if your decision has been made and can't be changed. You need to take care of YOU at this point.

    Sorry things were so hard for you. My thoughts are with you.
    mom2alan

    Answer by mom2alan at 9:31 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • I am sorry that you went through all that and sorry that you didn't have someone to go to for help. But like a PP said, you could have come on here and come to us for help...I mean I know new borns can be difficult, and it can be overwhelming, and dealing with PPD doesn't help when piled on top of it all...but you could have gotten help. Can I ask you how old you are...and how old your baby is? Again, I am so sorry things were so hard, but feel better knowing that at least your daughter is safe and being well taken care of.
    michellelee3708

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 9:45 PM on Jan. 8, 2010

  • Oh no! Oh sweetheart that is so sad. Children are such a blessing. But if you felt that was what was best at the time...only you know what was going on in your head.

    You may be suffering from post partum depression. You should see your doctor right away because even without the baby there, you will still suffer the effects. You may find, with treatment, you will feel differently and perhaps want your baby back. Or you may not.

    I wish you luck. If you do have post partum, I understand, I had it after my twins were born. My life seemed so hopeless, I was anxious all the time...it was awful. Get into see someone, for your sake and your baby's. You can always PM me if you need someone to listen.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 2:15 AM on Jan. 9, 2010

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