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Should I be upset and hurt if my husband is keeping things from me?

I been married for over 5 years no, we have been separated twice already. We have a 5 year old daughter. My husband supposedly have two babies outside our marriage, before we even got together. The first baby he just told me lil information about it. The second child I just found out about two years ago and he took one month to tell me about it, but his family knew before I did. Now I found out they also know more info than I do like names, age, probably their address. Should I be upset or just forget about this relationship all together because in the back of my mind part of me want a divorce but is scare to be alone with the econmy being not stable right now. When we were separated at those times I was happy and I was not the one that chase him it was the other way around. He called me wanted to work things out and want to start over. He tell me I am overreacted and should not be upset. Honestly I do not know how I feel.

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neec

Asked by neec at 11:32 AM on Jan. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Sounds like you actually do know how you feel. Follow your heart...he doesn't sound trustworthy at all, you were happy on your own, you deserve honesty and respect, doesn't sound like he is capable of giving those things to you, don't sell yourelf short just because of an unstable economy, life is too short to be unhappy for even one more day!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • You're not happy, you're happier without him...sounds to me like you already know what to do, you just want support to do it. I would be very upset if my boyfriend kept something like you describe from me. There are some things better left in the past (for example, if he was a jerk to his girlfriends in high school), but this isn't one of those things. This affects the rest of his life, and since you are married to him, that means it also affects yours. And he's trying to hide it from you. That, to me, indicates a major problem.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:44 AM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • How do you think your husband would feel if it were the other way around? These are the kind of question I ask myself when in doubt, I reverse the roles and come up with my answer. Honesty and trust are the things good marriages are made of, when there is no trust, the relationship eventually is doomed to fail.
    older

    Answer by older at 12:06 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Sounds like its time to go... He is being horrible and dishonest to you.. who knows what else he is hiding! Trust is a huge factor in a relationship and it sounds like you have NONE left.. im sorry and you deserve something so much better.
    maybebaby83

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 12:07 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • I think you should leave him. Sounds to me that your not happy with him and you dont trust him! You of all people should know everything about him even his secrets! Not his family! You and your daughter should come first in his life.... !!!! I say leave him so you can be happy! :) Good Luck!
    heatherjenea

    Answer by heatherjenea at 12:22 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • These are half siblings to your child so I'd be asking to know more. Does he take your family finances to pay child support on these children? That's your business and you should know where your money is going. Maybe he's keeping things from you to avoid a fight. Just tell him you are ready to discuss all these things now calmly. You have a child to provide for and college fund to save for. You need to know how to budget money and make plans for your dd's future.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:26 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

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