Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

alimony how much & how long

now days with blended familys some of us have husbands with old baggage and in my house its called alimony to a future ex-wife w/no children (all grown in late 20's & 30's & put thru best colleges by him) she got the $250,00 4 bdrm home w/full in law apt attached, a life insurance policy of $100,00 at his death a car paid off fully, all antiques and art work all contents of home except his clothes and few work tools,and she is trying to get half of his 401 K and she is getting a alimony $1,000 a month she wants for "20 years" !! she is doing nothing to brng any money in a income and when is enough enough whats your thoughts ladies? we will soon be heading to court to get this revised so would like some input !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Jan. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I'm not sure when enough would be enough but it sounds like she cleaned house!

    And I'm sure it doesn't seem fair to you as the new wife but depending on what happened to cause the divorce, especially if he cheated, she would feel hurt and entitled to it. I would too :)

    But as a new wife I would be irritated by it for sure! The courts should make a fair decision considering she made out like a bandit in the divorce to begin with.

    Answer by all4mymarine at 12:04 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • She can get it bc she did her job of caring for the kids and the home. She has a right to a retirement package. She invested her entire life to her "job". I'm a bit confused though. If he's living with you and she's a FUTURE x then he's not your dh yet & you are living with a married man. I'm not bashing, just saying that in some states that could get her even more money.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:19 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • he didnt cheat they had fallen aprt for about 4 yrs prior to us seeing each other and was just going home for holidays for older kids sake, and would stay in spare room they had No relationship at all & she was always the keep up w/the jones type and had to have a bigger house better car etc while he worked 70 hrs weekly ,, she should be told by judge IMO to at least start pulling in some income by selling the big house (she lives there alone) or by renting out and bringing in some income, shes not doing anthing to generate money relying on the $1,000 a month and his body is really starting to break down from 37 yrs of construction work and i feel since their are no children anymore, she should be required to find some type of work so this can be revised I am now paying too so she can sit home and complain, ..we have been paying now for 4 yrs and i feel enough is enough shes had plenty of time to get herself together !

    Answer by southernstarr at 12:23 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • sorry if you were offended that i wrote "husband " in my post... i actually dont consider him my husb we are "life partners" cause on both our sides we will never ever get re-married, and no i wasnt the cause of the divorce he had actaully legally seprated from her years before i met him, its just been the large cost of a good attorney thats been putting off this temporaily ..the final revision & final sign off, but yes it was a agreement between them that she would have a couple years to get herself stable, but shes dont nothing at all and thats not fair IMO she seems to be doing this out of spite !

    Answer by southernstarr at 1:10 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • I dont know the details of their relationship or their divorce, but based on my experience, you shouldnt judge her for what happened before you came along. Youre only getting half the story, his half. When my ex and I got divorced, I took everything I could from him and got alimony. His new gf didnt like it and it did interfere with their lifestyle but I felt very wronged and I still dont care if it made things difficult for him in the future. If he had treated me with more respect at the end of our marriage, I wouldnt have been so spiteful.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.