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please help...

This is a long story but my boyfriend and I have been dating like 9 years we have a 4 year old we have broke up a few time for a month or so but he treats me SOOOO bad lies to me about everything and always leaves for days at a time i have no clue where he is when he does this he lives with me and my mom I am so fed up with him doing this I have NO trust at all in him I can't take it anymore I am so unhappy yesterday at 4 o'clock he said he was checking the mail well he didn't come home till 930 this morning he was suppose to be at work at 8 (the only reason he came home was b/c his dad found him calling around everywhere) He goes out drinking I have to hold all his money but if i leave my purse for a sec he stills all the money and goes somewehre if i am not at his work TIME he gets paid he spends the WHOLE paycheck on Beer and stuff So my question is how do I make him leave i have done packed all his stuff 4 huge bags full..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Jan. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • and his xbox and all is packed up I really want him gone I have done this before but then he just unpacks it and stays and I can't get him to leave I need Support from my CAFEMOM peeps and advise on how to make him know i am for real about getting out of my house I have talked to his parents about this and they just say to me well he isnt coming back to our house so i don't know what to do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • You're right, he is not going to ever treat you the way you deserve. You are right to kick him out - change the locks, do NOT let him back in... period.
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 12:38 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • put his stuff outside and change the locks on your doors. you deserve better than that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • You have allowed it to be his home so you have to legally evict him. Call the sheriff's dept and ask the procedure. You can't just throw people out anymore.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:45 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • p.s. of course you can always ask him to leave and come get his stuff. That would work if he left voluntarily.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:46 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Call the police and have him escorted out of your home. Tell them that he is refusing to leave your property after you have ended the relationship and you need someone to escort him out. Let them know of the situation and how he steals money from you, leaves for days at a time, and that you've asked him to leave and he won't.

    You CAN just throw people out. If his name isn't on the lease you especially can. Also, if he pays no bills, which by the sound of it he doesn't, then you CAN just throw him out.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:59 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • I agree, call the police. I think it is illegal to put his posessions outside though. Have the police come by when he picks his stuff up, change the locks, you can do that yourself, I did, it isn't that hard, you just need a screwdriver and $20 for new lock.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • He's obviously disrespectful to you and to your 4 yr old by doing what he is doing. First off, if he lives with you and your mom and he doesn't have any right to the home (in case he doesn't have his name on the lease) then you have every right to remove his items from your home. First go and get a new door lock, change it. Place his items outside (if you want to be nice then put a tarp over it to protect it). The problem with you leaving his items inside is that he is unpacking them...but, you are allowing it. He can't take and stay if you aren't allowing it. Stand up for yourself. Have your mother stand up with you. If he causes trouble then you need to call the local police department. Tell them that you have removed him from the home and that he will not leave the premises. You have already talked to his parents, whom also don't want him back there, you've completed your responsibilities where he is concerned....
    AWomansMind

    Answer by AWomansMind at 2:00 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • he's grown enough to go out and drink...then he needs to be grown enough to go and take responsibilty for himself. You need to move on from this destructive relationship or you can look to it only continuing on like this for as many years as you allow it.
    AWomansMind

    Answer by AWomansMind at 2:01 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Admckenzie is right... you can't just leave their stuff out on the curb anymore. If it happens to rain or get damaged, stolen etc they can take you to court and sue you.
    You do need to call the police department and ask them what your state/city's procedure is and follow it.
    If he's not highly intelligent, you might can just tell him to get out and you're done and maybe change the locks and he won't have enough sense to fight it in the legal system, but if you have a child together, you do have to think about the child... would you want him/her to know you kicked their Dad out on the streets in the dead of winter?
    I'd follow the procedure and put him a blanket on the couch and tell him that in X amount of time, he has to be moved out.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:32 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

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