Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do i just let her cry?

I have a 8 month old daughter that not only wants to be held all the time but also walked around.If i sit down she screams.She wants constant attention from me.If her daddys holding her and she sees me she starts crying till i take her.I wouldn't care if i didn't have another child to take care of and my arms weren't about to fall off.She started this behavior a couple weeks ago.How do i break her from this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Jan. 9, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (6)
  • You can't break her. I really do hate that term whenever I hear it !

    She is going through a normal phase. It's called separation anxiety. If you let her cry you will prolong it and upset her, you and everyone.

    You can invest in a sling or carrier so that she gets what she needs and you can go about your business as usual. You'd be surprised at how babies are soothed by the mundane day to day activities. A baby that will cry constantly in a play-yard will be mute and contented if carried in a sling while you vacuum or chop a carrot.

    Answer by amileegirl at 3:37 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • I agree, it sounds like what my dd went through at that age. Get a sling or carrier or something and put her in that to get things done when you need to. I also found that talking to her really helped my dd not freak out so much. To do dishes, she went in the high chair with snacks right next to me and I talked to her while I did dishes. The best thing to do is respond to her need, i.e. you, and be patient. This is a phase, and it will pass. My daughter is 13 months and only freaks when I leave for work, but as soon as she calms down she loves her daddy time, and she gets mommy time all evening up to when she goes to sleep.

    Answer by preacherskid at 3:44 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • My friend's going thru the same with DD (almost 1yr). If you let her cry it will not help her self-esteem. I know, that sounds so long-term but if you look up the research as far as self-soothing you'll learn she's at the age where she's still learning to self-soothe. If you continue to soothe her (walk her, carry her) you are essentially teaching her to be more independent later on. So in the end it benefits you and her to soothe her now.

    I know, it's so easy for people to give you advice but you're the one getting carpal tunnel LOL! To reiterate previous posts, get a sling!

    Answer by Vero0724 at 4:08 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Can you leave the house for a while and have Daddy work on some bonding with her? When my older one only wanted me, it was a signal that Daddy needed to spend some more time with them. I would leave (biting my lip because he was wailing!) and bit by bit Daddy became another source of comfort for them. It was a wake up call to my husband that the kids wanted BOTH of us and he needed to not only be the fun one, but the nurturing one as well. He weaned them both from their pacifiers and potty trained them as well. They love us equally I am sure, but I have to say, my boys are closer to their Dad than many of my friends boys. I think its because he stepped up and helped soothe them when they were babies!

    Answer by justmyopinion at 4:33 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • I agree with using a sling. Your husband may need to do more of the cleaning and cooking for awhile. This will pass.

    Answer by Gailll at 5:32 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • She is at the perfect age for separation anxiety to kick in! You can't "break" her of this, it is a developmental stage. All babies go through it, some more intensely than others. Get a sling, hold her and carry her as much as you can. Lower your standards for house cleaning etc. until this passes. Give her all of the holding and attention she needs and soon she will be pushing you away. If you try and "break" her of this by not responding to her cries she will only cling tighter, or worse, gives up.

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 7:38 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Babies (0-12 months)
I can't get my son to sleep alone

Next question overall (Health)