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how can i get my kids to share and stop fighting over toys.

i have a 19month old boy and a 5 yr old girl and they cant play peacefully to save their lives. when the girl has a cool toy the boy wants it, when the baby has a toy the girl wants it. naturally the baby it not a naturally sharing person so he is ready to go to war if she reaches for his toy and will hit and slap and bite. he will also do the same thing to try to muscle a toy away from her...she gets all whiney bc he has a toy that she wants to play with and she cant have it. what do i do? they both have plenty of toys but they always want what the other has. the 5 yr old will go put whatever toy she has down to try to play with what the baby is playing with. what do u think. the 5 yr old is really trying to control all the toys bc she never wants a toy til he has it.


Asked by secondtyme520 at 4:57 PM on Jan. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

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This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I put toys in time out when my two fight over them. They've learned to share it or lose it.


    Answer by May-20 at 7:49 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Good luck with that... Mine are 9, 4, 2, and almost 1 and I feel like a constant referee :)

    Answer by Shyma at 5:00 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • It is the way of the world...good luck...

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 5:03 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Wait till they become adults. Everyone with kids has gone through the same.

    Answer by older at 5:08 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Do they understand the word "no"? That is the first word you should teach your children to obey. You can start teaching that at around 8 months when they begin to crawl and reach for things you don't want them to have. Then when you tell them "no", they know they had better pay attention to what you say or there will be consequences. If you have not taught that yet, it's not too late to start. Your five year old should get it rather quickly once you start inflicting a little bit of pain for not obeying. The younger one will get it pretty quickly too. There is no reason why you should have constant bickering between your children. They are born naturally selfish, 'tis true, but a determined parent can teach that we do not give into that selfish "what I want I must have" nature. So get yourself a little flyswat and go to work on some little behinds and teach that we don't just take what we want from others, even a sib!

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:15 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • don't let them play together

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 6:29 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Take the toy away.

    Well first you have to play with both of them and actually 'teach' and show them what it means to share/take turns. Then after you're sure they understand the concept a verbal reminder should be all the need "If you can't share and take turns; then you can't play with it" give them a few secs; I normally give mine another "I'm serious girls" and then if they're still fighting over it I walk over and take the toy away. They may have it back the next day and if they fight over it again I take it away again.

    I also do the same to teach them to clean their toys up. If they can't respect them then they must not want them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Mine are 13, 11 and 3, and still fight over toys or video games. For toys I tell them to share or the toy goes away. I tell them that whoever has the toy gets to play with it for XXX and then it will be time for the next one to play with it. For video games or computer I tell the older boys that 1 gets to play on it for XXX time and then I set the kitchen timer. When the timer goes off it is the next boys turn. If they give me attitude or fight about it, then they loose computer/video games that day and the next day too.

    Answer by MizLee at 7:53 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Good luck. My 9, 6 and 3 year old fight over toys, too. Sometimes it gets ugly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • If an answer is found to this question , the mom will be a millionaire! billionaire!

    Siblings fight. They don't like sharing no matter how much the age span is between them.

    My rule is let them work it out themselves. The only time I step in is if there is hitting, biting, or endangement to a child going on.
    Siblings learn from fighting with each other. It teaches them to be strong individuals able to handle themselves in the real world. At least that is what I have always told myself when my children are fighting.

    Answer by MSugarKane at 8:17 AM on Jan. 10, 2010