Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how can you stop abuse(sexual) in the family?

Hi mamas, I need ur help on this one, anytime my DH babysits my kids,there's always a problem with their gentiles for the girls(3 & 2)) they will be crying bitterly and be covering their gentiles with their hands not allowing me to bath them, closing their legs firmly. when i look closely I will notice some bruises. on one occasion a ped examine them and informed me that there was no hymen! and asked me if anyone in my home is sexually abusing the kids then my nephew was living with me, we simply send him away. right now my DH and I are taking care of our kids but this problem is still there especially when i live the girls at home with my DH. one day the situation was so bad that the elder one walking with her legs open when i asked what the matter was she was staring at me with fears in her eyes, i broke down and started crying DH said that i was accusing him , but i never uttered a mamas

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Jan. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (32)
  • You need to take your children to the doctor and tell them you have concerns that they are being sexually abused. The doctor will be able to confirm this. I can't believe the doctor didn't already call CPS when he discovered the girls have no hymen. You need to have this confirmed with a doctor and kick your husband out of the house ASAP! Do not leave your children alone with him anymore until you find out if it's him.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 6:32 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Oh my goodness mama! First of all, if you even have the slightest feeling that he's doing something, you need to get away from there. If the doctor said there was no hymen, then by law they have to report it, and if he didn't, he will get in trouble as well. Please please please, coming from someone who was sexually abused, get those children to a safe place. Go to CPS yourself and tell them your fears, if that helps. Or just call the cops. Take your little somewhere private and question them. I feel for your family. Hugs to you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • I would take those babies to the hospital NOW. Tell them what you suspect, have them examed, get your DH away from them! If you are the only 2 with access to thes babies then it is obvious who is doing it. Oh I just feel so sick for them and I wish I would not have read this.
    We were foster parents before our last move, I saw what abused children went through that were older than your girls, this is not something you want to let continue.

    Answer by bgcmommy at 6:39 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • do not, i repeat do not leave your girls with him unattended not even for a moment, if possible get out!! Get this confirmed like pp said, but from the sounds of it, it sounds pretty confirmed already but you will need proof, then i would call the police because if you leave it will solve the problem of your little ones, but since they are not around he may go elsewhere and do it to someone else's child, people that do things like that are very sick and if they did it once they will do it over and over again and are not safe around anyone's kids. I'm so happy to hear that you want to take action on this for your girls(some women turn their heads to it in fear of losing their DH or BF) so good first step asking for help. As soon as humanly possible take action get out of course he will deny it don't beleive him beleive the professionals and go with your gut as well, I am soooo sorry you are going through this. your little girls

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 6:41 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • You need to protect your babies at all cost, If it's thier own daddy, get the hell outta there. Ugh.

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 6:42 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Take them to the doctor and voice your concerns, THEY are legally mandated to report the suspected abuse to the police or CPS. I would either tell hubby to leave or move out myself until the investigation is over. Also, get them into counseling ASAP (they are also mandate to report suspected child abuse of any kind).

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:42 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • are terrified right now by the sounds of it and you getting them away asap will save them from a life of therapy and counseling. you should still seek counseling for them, but I mean if it continues your girls will prob have continual emtional prob so do something about it dont hesitate good luck i wish you the best i will pray for you

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 6:43 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • Kick him out? Have his ass arrested! No hymen at that age? The doc should have reported that immediately. You need to take them to a new doc, have it confirmed and press charges. How long are you going to let this go on? You know that its happening and everytime you leave those babies with him youre harming them just as much as he is. don't leave your kids with someone who you even suspect is touching your girls. He is a monster and the longer you make them go through it the more screwed up in the heads they will be because of him..... i had a bad cousin who used to come into my room every time my dad would leave for work and I'm 30 years old and can honestly say that I think about it all the time and can see him in my face like it was just yesterday. Do not make them go through this. Go to family, go to friends, go to a church, go to someone! but don't put them through it. They are trying totell you cause youre all theyve got

    Answer by Shyma at 6:44 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • What is wrong with you????? It sounds like this has been going on for a while now! You are disgusting! As soon as the doctor said something, as soon as you had the slightest thought that something was happening to your children you should have done something about it, You shouldn't have to ask how to stop it use your frickin head! What is wrong with you? These are your children!!! It is your job to protect them, even if it is from their father! You don't deserve to have children, just as much as he doesnt! I swear you should have to pass a test in this country to have children! Just any moron can have children no questions asked and it isnt right!!!! I talk with my son all the time about not allowing people to touch him where his underwear are, and ask him if any body ever has! If your oldest is 3 talk to her, in her terms she can tell you!


    Answer by mrsmamaj at 6:59 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • yes i would get them girls away and dont question or tell him anyting it may just make him upset and he may do something.go to a family members house or a friends until u get things worked out, take them to the docters and inform the police. i know a few girls who went threw abuse like that and ended up having there fathers baby.and of course when there is inbred that child will always have problems(health)

    Answer by angelairelan at 7:10 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.