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My son is a loner.

My son is 6, in Kindergarten, has friends and kids that like him, so it's not that, they all want to be his friend and play with him, he could just care less. He likes to be by himself, to play, or anything. I'm worried that it's going to affect him later on, like when he's older, and hasn't made the connections with other kids like he could have. Any advice? Thanks!


Asked by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on Jan. 9, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (11)
  • My son went through a faze like this right when he started school. He was an only child and just very self entertaining. I got him involved in sports and cub scouts and it really helped him loosen up, he has many friends now and I arrange play dates at least once a week. It will take time but with your support I am willing to bet he will be just fine.

    Answer by 67mermaid at 11:36 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • no it is proven by surveys that they will learn and develop the same way as the other children its just they like to be bythemselves... and sometimes your child isnt too confident ....Good luck

    Answer by Naralie at 9:52 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • it should not affect him later in life as the pp said they learn and develop the same.  My son is 8 and has been a loner all his life as well .,.his friends that he does make are very good friends but he doesnt like to hang out with them to much.  He would rather be alone .  I agree tho with the pp that it could be a confidence thing as well because my son in k and first grade had very low self esteem because of some things that were said at school etc...(some kids are just cruel) but there is many reasons about why it could be confidence.  I was very shy all thru school and never really made any good friends until middle school  so it could be that to ......


    Answer by mamajmm81 at 9:58 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • I would try putting in a smaller group of peers that he will share other expereinces with. Like a church group or cub scouts. Maybe he will develop a bond while working on the projects with the other kids.

    Answer by pat7879 at 9:59 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • What does he say why he doesn't want to play with the other kids?

    Answer by Seven07 at 10:42 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • My son has always preferred to be by himself. He doesn't bother with anyone outside of school but has many friends while there. He is 13 and seems to be doing just fine. He does not have any confidence issues and isn't shy; just likes keeping to himself, although he spends a great deal of time interacting with all of us at home.

    Answer by klatshaw at 12:00 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • i was like that and still am sometimes.

    Answer by angelairelan at 2:52 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I was like that, too, as a child, and dd is the same. Yesterday we went to a birthday party and she played with the girl's toys and didn't want to have cake, play games, etc. She was happy as a clam. Dd has trouble with transitions, tho, and her psychologist told me to work on that by interrupting her play every once in a while to get her used to transitions. Sometimes she will play alone for 2 hours. She's an only, so i didn't think playing that long was a big deal, until she had trouble with transitioning from a play activity to a school activity.  She does have friends and likes playdates, but generally likes to be alone.


    Answer by char944 at 9:03 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • My son is the same way. He has a great imagination and loves to read so he can spend hours lost in a book. He is 7 and does have friends kids call all the time to have play dates or invite him to sleep overs. He prefers to be at home with us. I personally think that is a good thing. My son is an only child so he is very independent, more mature for his age and very confident he doesn't need people to make him happy he is happy from within. A kid who constantly need friends over and are only happy surrounded by people would bother me much more.  My son does things on occasion with friends he has balance and does not overdo anything really.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • oh and yes we did the cub scouts thing as well and its helped alot to

    Answer by mamajmm81 at 11:50 AM on Jan. 10, 2010