Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My fiance is so insensitive sometimes.....God

Sometimes is so insensitive to my feelings......and i dont know how to get him to realize it....every time i bring it up or say anything about it, He gets defensive and gets really mad. What to do?

Answer Question
 
BABYnME610

Asked by BABYnME610 at 10:41 PM on Jan. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • It only gets worse when you get married. So you better work on him now.

    Have you tried writing him a letter?? sometimes this works.

    Just tell him once you hurt my feelings" and he should say he is sorry, (tell him that is what you want to hear.)
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:49 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • short of stapling the rules of respect backswards to his forehead nothing.

    The more upset you get the more you're feeding his ego and the more upset he gets. Speak your requirements for being with him firmly often. Some men once they get a family feel that because fatherhood came after their stepping into manhood with their ego in tow, that they don't need to parent or partner the child.

    No matter if you're an at home mom to be or an at home mom now or will always be a mom who works outside the home, you're allowed to say you need help and to get it. Counseling early on continuing to once a month or every other month after while can be a huge help.

    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 10:52 PM on Jan. 9, 2010

  • I wouldn't marry a man who was disrespectful towards me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • ask him to go therapy with you...couples therapy helps a relationship
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 1:53 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Therapy would be a good idea in my opinion. Problems tend to escalate with marriage, not that marriage makes them worse but rather things tend to get a bit more complicated lending themselves to higher attention requirements. If he isn't willing to get assistance now then he will be very unlikely to do it later, which could lead to even worse problems. Good luck!
    Daylex

    Answer by Daylex at 2:12 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Your fiance is G-d?

    Anyway, before you commit to marriage, I can't urge you strongly enough to sit down with a neutral third party, like a clergy person or couples counselor, and learn how to communicate. We are not all born knowing how to do this.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:06 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Depends on how youre approaching him, there are ways to share your feelings without necessarily blaming him, men are so insecure, they can't stand feeling they've done somnething wrong, so if you start out with saying things like "why did you blah blah blah"...immmediately making him the bad guy, it doesn't go over as well as pointing out your own feelings first, like saying...'it hurt my feelings and made me feel like this...; when such ans such happened... try really hard to not place blame...am I even making sense? lol...good luck...if you don't get this worked out before you marry him it will get SO much worse after you're married!!! He might just be too emotionally immature for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN