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Engaged but no talk of marriage....

So on December 17th my lovely boyfriend asked me to marry him and of course I said yes. Everyone I tell the first question they ask is did we set a date and I say no. Every time I bring it up with my (know) fiance he just avoids the subject I will mention a date and he just says uh huh or something. So is this normal? How are we suppose to plan a wedding if we can't even discuss a date?

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Mommynwife26

Asked by Mommynwife26 at 12:42 AM on Jan. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (76 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • My thought about getting engaged is that that man better be ready to marry me the next day.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 12:46 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • HOW DOES THAT HELP THE OP SARA? Try giving advice!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • It means that if a guy asks you to marry him, he should be ready to do it as soon as possible. If he's not talking about a date at all, than he's avoiding it and it will probably be a long engagement.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 12:52 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Hmm, tell him you're worried that the ring may not mean the same thing to him as it does to you. Tell him when he asked you to marry him, you thought that you guys would get the great thrill of beginning to plan your wedding together, but that's a hard thing to do when there is no set date in mind. My husband was similar. He asked me to marry him and then did not stick to the date we picked. We picked a date almost 18 months in advance and he was fine with that until about 6 months later when I really started getting ready to plan and see locations and such, then he kind of backed out of that date and decided on a different date another 6 months further away. So we were engaged two years. Fine with me though, since we were engaged very, very quickly, it was nice to have a longer engagement.
    MommyToSmeech

    Answer by MommyToSmeech at 12:54 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • It could be he doesn't want a hand in the planning, so say I picked this date but don't reserve anything and see what he does. Don't ask if it is ok say I picked this date, and ask him who his groomsmen are going to be etc, just get him into it, and ask if he wants to be excluded from planning a lot of men hate that part.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 1:58 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • We were engaged nearly two years before we set a date. I would wait marriage is a huge step he barely asked you give it time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Have you asked him if he is having second thoughts.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:46 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Tell him engagement if off since no date is set.  Give him back the ring.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • If he isn't setting a date, then he didn't really mean it. Sorry. Maybe he just thought it was the thing to do, "get engaged" but not actually get married, so you think the relationship is progressing, but really it's not. You have to decide if you want to be perpetually engaged, potentially, or if you really need to be married.

    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:06 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

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