Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

way can't i get along with my oldest

Answer Question
 
smcbrk

Asked by smcbrk at 3:19 AM on Jan. 10, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • nobody can answer that question except you
    Mrs.Mack.

    Answer by Mrs.Mack. at 3:24 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • A lot of time it is because you are very like minded. Also it could be that you put too much pressure on him.her for being your oldest. without more info I can't really say.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 3:25 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Teenagers are in a difficult phase in their life. If it were easy having teenagers the phase would be named something more pleasant than adolescent. I know my oldest had problems with wanting to be his own person so much that he was hard to communicate with at times. I think its natural for them to use arguing as their way of wanting to be a separate person from the parents. I had to stop trying to fight with him about everything and just pick my battles. I know....easier said than done but you can do it.

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:34 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • its age difference and difference of opinion. at that age they want to do what they want to do and they think they know everything.
    you want whats best for them, but they think they already know whats best for them, and you could talk till your blue in the face, but they are more likely to listen to friends advice at that age than the advice of parents, tough age, tough time, but the good news(which won't come soon, but will come) is one day they will realize that they shouldve listened to their parents and when they come to that realization that is when your relationship with them will become closer. Good Luck.
    jsimonds220

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 3:43 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • maybe shes in her Rebelious stage in her teenage years, she'll get over it sooner or later
    Naralie

    Answer by Naralie at 4:19 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Teenagers are the reason headache medicine was invented, I swear by it! Seriously, any teen can be difficult at times. They are trying to figure out who they are and what they want in life. They are trying to fit in with their peers and they think they know more then just about any adult does. Thus, they can be pains in the back end. There are many times that they are much like their parents and this leads to the butting of heads. Eventually they become older and are not so much a pain, but in the mean time just breathe and enjoy the ride, soon they will be out own their own and having a family of their own. Then you can say
    "Told you so" when they have teens of their own.
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 4:36 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I agree with truealaskanmom...being too alike is a lot of the reason we don't get along with someone at times. But think back to when you were the same age as your teen....how was your relationship with your mom. Did you get along with her very well? I know I sure didn't. But things got better later on....like I'm getting along with my dd then I used to. Although we live in different states now, she still calls and we chat and laugh...she even asks for advice now, something she never did before she moved out.

    Good luck
    daisy521

    Answer by daisy521 at 5:56 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Since you haven't provided us with any details, then all that I can suggest is family counseling; a neutral third party can help the two of you relearn communication
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:31 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • This is a difficult age, give him/her space, but always be informed, even iif the information doesn't come directly from them. Inquire about what their up to, and never give up.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:52 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Teens try to separate from their mothers and become their own person. It's normal. Don't fight it. Pick your battles. Loosen the hold and let the child learn responsibility and consequences. Allow them to make mistakes but guide them back on track when they do. Don't control them as much as you'd like but guide them. It will be fine.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:36 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN