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I want out...

I want to leave my DH but I am a SAHM with NO money...what should I do? My son is 2 years old...I feel so stuck I have nowere to go and no money. I can't believe I put myself in this situation!!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:07 AM on Jan. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • It happens i think u should find a job save some money and try to get out on your own with your child i know waht your going through i am in the same situation except i have 2 lil ones and they dont stay with anyone they cried the whole day til i came home.... its hard good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Start looking into how to get assistance maybe? Or get a job first then leave him if you can manage to stay a bit longer? I don't know, that's a tough one. As long as he isn't abusive....?
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 4:13 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • its going to be hard but you can do it you just need to figure out how and if there is any help you can get....
    Naralie

    Answer by Naralie at 4:17 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • He's not "abusive" I justt feel sick and tired of being sick and tired lately. I am a SAHM with no car home all day...I know he's a hard worker and a great Dad but he has been an awful Husband. He is pretty selfish especially when he feels stressed out. our biggest issue is sex...he wants it ALL the time, I want it never. I try to explain it's a combo of the way you act and treat me and the fact I am exhausted and don't get a minute to myself to breath/ relax out of the house. He listens but then nothing changes. i found a great book to read together "His needs, her needs" and Ii feel like he gets it but not enough to make any changes. For example he will say so if I do abc to make you happy, you will do xyz to satisfy me? I feel like it's always about him...Am I the selfish one? He is a great Dad, helps out around the house but, like I said when it comes to us as long as we were having sex very often it would be all good...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:20 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • cont...I just feel so empty lately. I guess I could just have sex and pretend like it's all good but that's just not how I operate. Also since there is a lack of sex he is extra moody and he does get kind ofverbally abusive by saying hurtful things. Do you think these are reasons enough to break apart my family and have a stranger watch my son all day every day? I feel so lost and torn.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • You're not selfish honey, you're a busy mom who is very tired. If the sex thing is the main issue, why not see if you can find a counsellor to help with that? Even if HE refuse to you, you can. I'm the married mother of 17 month old twins. I also work 12 hour shifts days/nights. Frankly I need a lot of time to gear myself up for sex and by the time I've done that I'm too tired to bother. My husband is like yours, wants it all the time. And he gets hella-grumpy when I don't put out. I do want to have sex but by the time I get the kids down or get home from work it is the LAST thing on my mind.

    I hope you find some resolution to your situation. Maybe you could use that book to hit him over the head a few times....
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 4:35 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • your not selfish ! you need a break too.... we all do im a stay at home mom with no car either.... it sucks i talked to my hubby millions of times until he got it in his head and he finally started helping me and lets me go out for like 1-2 hours to rest from my kids and get fresh air
    Naralie

    Answer by Naralie at 4:42 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • & no you dont have to give in to sex if you really dont want to he needs to understand
    Naralie

    Answer by Naralie at 4:43 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I think that you should get therapy and explain that if he doesn't start actually changing you are done, sometimes they think just because their is no monetary value of staying at home that t makes you useless, and that he deserves sex for making the money. He just needs s wake up call and therapy. Good luck.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 5:03 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Sounds like you might jsut need to reconnect. How long has it been since you have gone on a date together? You feel in love for a reason and I bet that guy is still there. It is just buried under some stuff. As for sex, if you are uninterested in sex and he needs sex then why not help him out in other ways. He is your husband and you are his wife and often you get what you give. Make an effort and you might be surprised what you get back. Also, don't blind side him with anything. If you really think THAT is worth getting divorced over then let him know now so he at least understands the severity of what's going on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

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