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Is my boyfriend having second thoughts?

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and I'm due with our baby really soon. At times he's really excited and saying what type of dad he'll be and that other times he seems distant about the topic and once brought up adoption, saying that we can't afford her even though we can and he wants to be able to have fun with me and go to school to get a degree. I've told him that we can still do all those things with our daugther just that we will have to work at it and be willing to keep our relatoinship together even after she is born. Two days ago he mentioned to me about when we get our place so I know he's planning to take care of us but I have doubts on if this is really what he wants, to be a family with me. He's told me that he does but I feel unsure. Is this just me or is he having second thoughts? Do all first-time dads go through this when the due date is near?


Asked by penguinbabe44 at 9:15 AM on Jan. 10, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • I think he wil be fine.. im sure he is just VERY nervous! To me it sounds like he wants only whats best for you and the baby.. which is great!! I think once the baby is here he will be a wonderful father!

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 9:49 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • It sounds like this was not a planned baby. The two of you need couples counseling now.

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:18 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Get marry before baby gets here. Just go the court house and get that done. Commitment to the relationship and family is very important.  At times you have to lead but let him think he is leading.  ;-)


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • DONT run off and get married.. thats horrible advice.. dont get married just b/c your having a baby.. WAIT .. marriage changes alot of things about a relationship and so does a baby.. why change EVERYTHING all at once.. one thing at a time.

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 10:25 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • i agree dont run of and get married,lol... i think he is just nervouse and excited and all that can be overwhelming. just bare with him,when baby gets here he will change.nothing like seeing a father with his daughter.its alot different then seeing a father with his son.

    Answer by angelairelan at 11:26 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • 1. have career/education
    2. focus on relationships
    3. get married
    4. build home nest
    6. have children

    Proper order of things.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • proper order of things occurding to whom? the 1950s??
    As long as you are in love, and both responsible and wanting and able to care for a child.. YOU DONT NEED TO B MARRIED FIRST.. thats so insane.
    This list is ridiculous..
    And here is the thing.. the girl posting this is about to give birth.. she is already pregnant.. are you saying she needs to go give married just for that reason?? thats stupid.

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 1:54 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I have to agree with anon....sorry....

    as for the poster: well, it sounds like you two are young and this happened shortly after you met. He is scared-who wouldn't be. Even people in happy marriages can get scared. I would sit down with him and talk it out. Counseling might help. Try and make sure your finances are in order-that sounds like what he is worried about the most. In guys heads they are supposed to be the bread winner and babies take alot of bread to raise.
    It also sounds like he is missing what "could" have been-you two hanging and having fun. Babies make you grow up faster than you might want--since it's a little late now, be there for each other and keep talking. I wish you the best...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I was married 9 years when I gave birth to our first child. My dh was terrified! He was distant while I was pregnant and the first year of our ds' life. Sometimes it just takes men a little longer to wrap their heads around parenthood. It sounds like he is scared.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 5:40 PM on Jan. 11, 2010