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Is my boyfriend having second thoughts?

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and I'm due with our baby really soon. At times he's really excited and saying what type of dad he'll be and that other times he seems distant about the topic and once brought up adoption, saying that we can't afford her even though we can and he wants to be able to have fun with me and go to school to get a degree. I've told him that we can still do all those things with our daugther just that we will have to work at it and be willing to keep our relatoinship together even after she is born. Two days ago he mentioned to me about when we get our place so I know he's planning to take care of us but I have doubts on if this is really what he wants, to be a family with me. He's told me that he does but I feel unsure. Is this just me or is he having second thoughts? Do all first-time dads go through this when the due date is near?


Asked by penguinbabe44 at 9:16 AM on Jan. 10, 2010 in Pregnancy

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Answers (5)
  • sounds lime he is facing the reatily of being a Dad you have to look at the struggles you will have not just the " oh we are gonna have a pretty lil baby " He is worried that is smart but it doesn't mean he doesnt love you or that he wont be there.\

    You would do well to follow his example you will have some difficult days ahead

    Answer by freedomthinks at 10:27 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • It sounds like cold feet to me. Sit down and have a real heart to heart with him. explain how you feel. He may just be nervous. GL!

    Answer by Jjoneslagrange at 9:30 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • My husband was like that with our first never mentioned adoption though. that's scary. But yeah he got really weirded out, which really let me down as I needed him to be there for me. If you really love eachother it will all work out. Yes he can still go to school, and do anything, my husband did it was hard as hell, but it was worth it. In today's world someone needs to have a degree in something when you have kids to support them, and even then you will struggle. Maybe you should just sit down and talk with him about it. Let him know how you feel. Good Luck!

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 9:37 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • dads dont' connect seriously with the baby until they see them, hold them , and bond with them. At the very least your bf is talking to you and letting you know his feelings. Its worse when they don't communicate at all with you.

    Answer by MSugarKane at 9:48 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • This sounds very normal for a first time dad. My husband went from hot to cold constantly while I was pregnant. It wasn't until he saw the ultrasound and started feeling the baby move that he really stopped and even then he didn't really "bond" with the baby or seem to think it was real and our pregnancy was completely and totally planned.

    Answer by aeneva at 10:21 AM on Jan. 10, 2010