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Does Anyone Else Feel This Way?

Every time I read advice about how to "spice things up" in the bedroom, someone always mentions dressing up in a costume and/or some kind of "role playing". I think that's the most ridiculous concept, ever. How does that help things? How does throwing on a Princess Leia Gold Bikini help me communicate with and get closer to my husband? Seems to me, such activities actually hinder effective communication. So what say you, World At Large? Costumes Yay or Costumes Nay?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Jan. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • If its communication that you are wanting then I would have to say no... If its to bring something new into the bedroom and "spice thing up", then I would say go for it. Depends on what you are looking for.

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 11:22 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I think thats just an idea that 99 percent of people think of when they think of spicing things up.. i dont see anything wrong with it.. its fun., it takes you away from normal life and being the same ALL THE TIME..
    what are your suggestions for spicing things up?

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 11:23 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Yeah not really my thing. My husband likes sexy lingerie sometimes but we never did the costume thing. It's not for us, but whatever floats your boat. The best thing for us is to get away from the kids for a few days, I feel so much more relaxed in the bedroom when I know one of kids will not be calling me or waking up. We don't get away a lot but when we do it is great.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Costumes are personally not my thing. I'm a very sexual person but it's just not a concept that does anything for me. Everyone is different. It's ok to like something or not like it. Whatever works for you as a couple to make your sex life better.

    Answer by Court128 at 11:38 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • it depends on what you're looking for. no, costumes are not going to help you communicate better with your husband. "spicing things up" = something NEW and exciting.
    communication needs to be TALKED out.
    but spicing things up can be a WHOLE range of things.

    I would say if you have communication problems relating to sex, costumes would be the last on the list.

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 11:43 AM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I have no desire to communicate. I only want sex so the outfits work for me. You are saying you want more intimacy. That's different than wanting to spice up the bedroom play time. Personally I think the lovey dovey communication is over rated but if you like it then that's good. My SO would laugh in my face. Our relationship is based on what we both like and that's sex. Our communication is fine. Our respect for one another is fine. The bedroom is for all the fun and naughty things we can think of. That just works for us.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:05 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I think laughter is the answer to many things in life. I like to laugh. Getting SO to laugh is always a goal for me. He's military and stoic and emotionless. Wearing the costumes gets a response from him. I'm not a size 2 anymore so wearing a Xena Princess Warrior outfit can be comical for me (bc I'm trying to squeeze a large body into a small outfit) but most importantly me wearing my Scooby Doo houseshoes with the costume and pulling out a bullwhip (which I do NOT use) just makes the whole scenario hilarious. I like to have fun. I make sex fun. If I can make him laugh and have fun too then that brings us closer. Each time he shows up I try something new (I dye my hair different or wear a wig or go from a french hooker outfit to the simple June Cleaver look with pearls). He has no clue who I'll be and he finds it interesting who greets him at the door. It's just play time. I have shown up just as me and he likes that too.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:15 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • "Spicing up" and "enhancing communication" are two different things. Get this book now: Hot Monogamy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I feel the same way..costumes are for people who don't have any real chemistry together, that's not something you can replace or find in a costume! It makes me sad there are people out there who don't know what real passion and chemistry is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Ha ha ha, we don't do costumes. To live dangerously, we have sex without locking the door. OooOOhh. I know. :p

    Answer by Pnukey at 9:50 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

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