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what in the world is wrong with me??

I'm in the process of divorcing my husband.
I know that it's the right thing for both of us, especially me.
We have struggled for three years and it just wasn't going anywhere.

Well the other day he begged me to see a movie with him,
and I kept saying no and I stood my ground and told myself it was
a bad idea.

I ended up going!
and we ended up making out in my car.

Now I feel terrible.
What the heck is wrong with me??
Please tell me I'm not the only one who's done something stupid like that!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Jan. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • oh thank god im not alone. im still answering anonymously though. anyways yeah- i broke up with my BF of 6 years b/c he cheated, had an alcohol prob, and was violent (when drunk). every once in a while i see him, hes still trying to get back with me, and we have sex, or kiss, or hold hands, and i let him spend a little money on me and our kids. i have no intention of getting back with him- ever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Have you tried couples counseling?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:51 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • We give mixed messages when we do that sort of thing. Notice I said "we". I did it too so you are not alone. I couldn't get rid of my x for years bc of it. We try to be nice and they misunderstand then they push the envelope to get what they want and try to worm back in. Breaking up isn't always easy but keep trying to hold firm if divorce is what you want. Don't let him bully you into going out with him. My x did that and I was such a people pleaser that I tried to make him happy. In the meantime I was miserable but finally got out and moved four states away to make him leave me alone. Thank goodness he finally found some young chick to marry and bully and leave me alone.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:05 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I've gone through that a lot especially in the past. Hubby and I would get into a huge fight be on the verge of divorcing and we would have sex. I remember one time we were separated and we had sex he felt bad because we weren't together anymore but we ended up working things out and getting back together that same night.
    kimosgirl08

    Answer by kimosgirl08 at 3:09 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Well I would say you should hold off on the divorce thing. Marriage is for better or worse and within a lifetime 3 years isn't a whole lot of time. We are coming up on 3 years and there were so many times when I or he thought about divorce through some issue but we always come together and make it work and now all of that is behind us and we are finally getting the swing of this whole marriage thing.

    Marriage is so much work but you only work it out if you are up for the fight. It is so easy to walk away, I didn't understand until I got married how ppl were married for months and then divorced - its hard to work it out and yield to another person when you want what you want.

    You are obviously still attracted to each other, you love each other and enjoy spending time together right. Stop thinking about how green the grass looks for your single friends & work things out. Learn how to communicate and rekindle your flame.
    1st_LadyD

    Answer by 1st_LadyD at 3:25 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Stupid here, present and accounted for. You're comfortable with him, that's all, even though you intellectually understand it is for the best to not be with him, your heart sometimes wants to go back to someplace 'safe' ...ie: a known entity...for me, dating was scary, getting to know someone new and all that, have you heard the saying 'the devil you know is better than the one you don't'? We all need attention, physical and otherwise, don't beat yourself up ok? Youre human that's all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • He is your husband, and I would like to assume that means that you love the man. It sounds to me like the smart thing for you two to do is to forget about divorce and try to figure out a way to fix the marriage, unless he is a serial killer or something similar--the only thing that would really make divorce "right" for you. Marriage is hard work, and most women haven't been taught that. Instead, they have been taught the fairy tale "happily ever after" crap. I've been married to my husband for almost 45 years, and there were plenty of times when I could have said divorce was right for me. Only trouble was it's not all about me. It's about "we" and that means we stick it out and we find a way to make it work. If you find someone else and marry him, you will have the exact same problems with him, because you will be taking you with you. Call the dude and tell him to come home, because you have something to tell him.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:19 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I had sex with my EX DH several times after we broke up but before we divorces.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:05 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

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