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leaving a relationship because of a molestation

What would you do if you have already gone thru a difficult divorce and have 3 children. Your fiance, whom is the father of one of your children now comes to you and tells you he has touched your daughter a couple of times while she was sleeping a few years ago but she is totally unaware of it and he hasn't done it since. He has shown much remorse and sought counceling. But in your gut you know you are always at risk for it to happen again. The children are very happy with life as they know it now. How do you go about leaving the relationship without having the children knowing why?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Jan. 10, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Don't tell them. I'm sure there are plenty of reasons you can give them as to why you are leaving the relationship. If anyone had touched my children, I would have had his ass in jail so fast his head would spin.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:08 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • LEAVE!!! He has problems, people with problems like these do it again. If he admitted that to you, what has he done that he has not admitted? Just tell your children you had problems you couldn't work out. Lie if you have to. I wouldn't tell your daughter if she doesn't already know, it is untelling what knowing that could do to her.
    I would get a lawyer, tell them everything and go for full custody, and if they do give him visitation make sure that it is supervised. You don't need to put your child at risk at all.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 3:10 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Sorry, maybe I didn't clarify that. Call the police and have his ass arrested!! Leaving the situation gets you and your children out but still leaves a child molester on the streets to harm other children. I shouldn't have to tell you this!

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:11 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I agree--leave. It has been shown that nobody gets over that---they will always be a potential molester.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • deffinitely leave and do not give him unsupervised visits with your child. Tell him you will not go to the police as long as he contiues with his treatment, even go with him to make sure he is being honest with the therapist. If he ever fights you for custady than you will have the therapist as a witness to him admitting what he did.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 3:15 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • are you serious?? again with molestation questions.. are you still living there now?? have you been since he told you???????????
    maybebaby83

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 3:18 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • He won't be getting custody or visitation if he goes to JAIL anyways.
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:27 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I would leave him.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:22 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • You pack up and leave. Then you call the police. He may feel remorse, and he is sick and needs counseling. But in the end he still is a pedaphile. Leave. Go visit your family or friends for awhile. Don't tell your kids anything right now. Just tell them Mom and daddy have some differences that you are not able to work out.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 5:08 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • YOUR DAUGHTER is at STAKE !!!!!!
    I have NO MEMORIES, before age 10 !!!!!!!
    THIS IS HURTING YOUR CHILD !!!!!!
    OMG!!!!!!
    I WOULD LEAVE OR RUN HIM OFF !!!!!
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 9:27 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

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