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Kids almost exactly 2 years apart? Have questions, need advice!

Ok so I'm pregnant with my second. The estimated due date is August 21st. My son was born August 25, 2008. I was wondering if anyone else has or is having kids almost exactly 2 years apart. How did you deal? How did you ease your first born into the idea of becoming a big brother/big sister? When did you tell them? How do you handle birthday parties? What are some ups and downs?

Answer Question
 
alinker

Asked by alinker at 5:19 PM on Jan. 10, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,666 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • my middle & baby's b-days are just a couple days apart... end of may, beginning of june... almost 2 years to the day.

    they just cope... as do you. include the older one in doing things like changing diapers (handing you the wipes/cream/diaper- throwing it away, etc), things like that help them to feel useful and needed. makes the transition easier for everyone.

    we do not celebrate their birthdays on the same day- that's a special event and shouldn't be shared.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 5:28 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I think it is very important to avoid the big brother trap. Some parents tell the child that they are the big brother, they love the baby, and they are the good helper. They may not want a baby, at least not all the time. They may want to be the baby, at least some of the time.

    Let the older child know you have enough love for both of them. It's your job to take care of the baby. Don't let others start up with the big brother talk. Minimize any holding or kissing of the baby, it can lead to hitting or biting. Get a baby sling so you can hold the baby and still do things with your son and get things done around the house.

    Learn parenting skills. A good starter book is Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary. Attend La Leche League meetings. Groups have great lending libraries. Each state or area has parenting conferences with breastfeeding and parenting sessions. You meet other moms.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 5:33 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Mine were exactly 12 moths apart, my first born was just a baby herself when I brought her sister home, so the transition went smooth. It was almost like having twins, I would celebrate both their birthdays with a big bash in the month in the middle of both birthdays, did this for 7 years, then we did the individual thing.
    The advantage I saw was they always had a playmate in each other, and created a bond that still holds to this day, they are 31, and 32.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:34 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • DH shares a b-day with his sister who is 6 years younger and then 2 years later his brother was born a few hours after their birthday. They just had 1 really huge party. One year, they rented a moon walk jumper thing and a ball pit and had a huge carnival for the whole family. The pics are so cute with all 3 of them dressed up and so many people there.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 5:35 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • My oldest and my second are 27 months apart. I don't remember really caring. My oldest was really excited to be a big brother. He was a big help. Just don't forget to include the oldest in everything. Make time to spend that time with him. I was more worried about the third child. He is ten and eight years younger than the other two. I was scared I was too old to do this again. That was 15 years ago. All well so far.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 5:48 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • My kids are 25 months apart. Not sure what an earlier poster was saying about the big brother trap, but my daughter LOVED that she was going to be a big sister and that she was going to help with the baby. Only make it good news, only be positive about it. My daughter was very excited and loved her baby brother and we had just about no issues at all until he turned about 10 months and became mobile and started taking her toys, lol. Now they are almost 5 and 3 and while there is lots of fighting, they are also eachother's best friend. We've only done small parties for the kids so far, just close family, so we've done separate parties. This is the first year DD is getting a big party out with all her preschool classmates invited, etc... I won't do that for DS until he's 5 too. I don't know if we'll ever do combo parties, but they are 5 weeks apart, yours will be closer, AND your kids ...cont...
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 7:04 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • will have summer birthdays, which means you could always do a big outdoor bbq combo party if you wanted...my kids have b-days in the winter, so to do one big combo is tough. Good luck! I was so nervous to have another, but he totally completes our family and I couldn't imagine life without him. Again, yes, they will fight, but they will always have eachother and that is a great gift to your older child. It all works out somehow =)
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 7:06 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • My older two boys are 26 mths apart.
    I read books about mommy bringing baby home and older boy being a big brother(book was called Waiting on Baby and had no words just pictures so you could make up your own "story"). He really liked that. We talked about the baby coming to our home and how he was gonna be a big brother and how exciting it was and how proud we were of him and how great he'd be,etc.

    We just talked about it throughout the day,etc we didnt necessarily take moments to do it just made it part of our conversations.

    Our son did pretty good, really liked the baby when he came and really wanted to play with him. No major fits or anything like that.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 7:22 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • i bought my son a baby doll to play with and we played house and while doing so i talked about having a new brother and when my youngest son got here no problems. did the same with my middle child when i got pg with my daughter. the oldest and middle kids are 2 yrs 2 weeks apart and the middle and my youngest are 3 yrs 2 weeks apart
    gothmama91

    Answer by gothmama91 at 7:41 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • My children are 25 months part and they are fine. I told my son when I was pretty sure I was out of miscarriage risk zone and simply told him that mommy was having another baby and he was going to be a big brother. Don't make the child help out, but usually they will want to and let them do what they can. My son loved to get the diapers and wipes for me etc, but i never made him do it. I nursed and was a little worried he would want to again since he weaned while I was pregnant, but he didn't and instead we made it bonding time, while I nursed I read to him. We also made sure we spent one on one time with him every day too. He is/was a wonderful brother. My sister and I were born on the 5th and 7th of the same month 2 years apart and my parents had family parties together, but tried to give us both at least a small party the weekend before and weekend after respectively each year.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 9:01 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

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