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Do you agree with the teen moms on this site who believe that if you have rules and restrictions for your teen, then they will rebel?

I've gotten into arguments with the teens on here because they think I'm to strict, which I not. I just need to know where my kids are at all times and who they are with. My daugher is 14 and is not allowed to be unsupervised around boys. She is 14 and doesn't show any interest in this anyways. She enjoys going to her friends or having her friends over on the weekend for sleepovers. I always make sure I know the family whose house she is staying at. I also check her facebook all the time and keep the computer in a central location, so that she doesnt get tempted into doing or saying anything she shouldn't be doing.

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staceynoel

Asked by staceynoel at 8:14 PM on Jan. 10, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 12 (852 Credits)
Answers (51)
  • I dont think its to strict.. but maybe checking her facebook is a little weird..
    I just think that if your daughter is going to do something, no matter what, she will find a way to do it.. so why overdo the rules and make her lie to you about what she is doing b/c she is too scared to tell you the truth
    maybebaby83

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 8:19 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • nope, it's called being a good mother. I plan to do the same as my children get older. If my mother would have been like you, maybe I would not have had sex at such an early age (14) and maybe I would not have been in so much trouble. To have a mother that cared where I was. Good for you mama!! the teens on her saying otherwise are just that, teenagers with teenager attitudes. I said that same things when I was that age, I used to make fun of friends who had parents like you...but ultimately, I was jeolous that I didn't have that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I think moms have the right to be informed of the whereabouts/activities of their children. My parents had a form we had to fill out before we left with general information like where we were going to be, when we would be back, who would be there and a contact number for a parent. I didn't rebel in the traditional sense of the word and plan on doing something very similiar with my boys. I am 27 now have have two little boys of my own, so I can understand what motivated my mother to keep tabs on me. It sounds like you are just being cautious to me, which I certainly can understand.
    Daylex

    Answer by Daylex at 8:23 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Anon. im 26 years old.. lol. im not a teen.. i was a teen and i know how they think..
    maybebaby83

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 8:24 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Let me say this if you treat her like she is untrustworthy before she proves to actually be untrustworthy she will learn to be the best sneak on earth. If you control everything that they do they will rebel. I did. I was a great kid good grades, sports, never drank, smoke, or did drugs but my parents still treated me like a criminal, so I snuck around and did the only thing left to do, had sex. I was still a good kid beside that but I did the one thing I knew they would kill me over. So act like a nazi and you are going to get rebellion. Teens need to build relationships with trust, and when you don't trust them it really hinders their ability to mature in a good way.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 8:31 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • No I dont agree with them. I can also say my dd who is now 21 with 2 kids who had her first at 17 wouldnt either. Kids need rules and like I tell my teenagers regardless of their age until they are 18 yrs old, on their own, not mooching off me for money, paying their own bills, working etc then they are still non adults. Teenagers are still children if they are under 18 and we parents are still financially and legally responsible for them. If they wreck a car under 18 who pays? We do, the parents. And anyway I think teenagers need rules to show them how to live respectable lives when they get older. In my house its real simple, I want to know who, what, when and how before they go anywhere. If they cant tell me then their hiding something, and if they cant follow rules they are more then welcome to brave the big bad world on their own without a dime from me. But in my home, Im boss. Plain and simple.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:37 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I'm only 24, but I can tell you I'm so grateful to my dad for the rules he placed in front of me and for disciplining me when I didn't obey the rules. My dad was in charge of disciplining me, but my mom wouldn't allow him to discipline my three younger sisters. I'm the oldest in my family, my second sister dropped out of high school, has a hard time keeping a job and insists that everyone else is at fault for her misfortune. My third sister got pregnant when she was 17 and then again when she was 18. She refuses to take responsibility for herself. My youngest sister was lucky she graduated from high school. She started drinking at a young age and has been in trouble many times for it.

    I truly believe that I am a better person because of the rules and discipline my dad set before me. When my children get older I'll be setting the same rules that my dad had for me. There will be consequences for them breaking the rules.
    onthegoturbo

    Answer by onthegoturbo at 9:03 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • StaceyNoel... I think you are being an excellent mother and protecting your daughter wonderfully. My children will also not be allowed to be with the opposite sex alone and I will know where they are at all times! Good for you!
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 9:06 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • I believe that kids need rules and boundaries and they need to have parents who are on the ball and keeping track of everything. My kids were good kids and didn't get in trouble because we always knew where they were and we knew who their friends were. AND we knew the friends' parents. They were all good kids and went to college, got married and THEN they had kids. LOL. No teen pregnancies. No drugs. No scandals. :-) They didn't hate us either.
    Lindalu2

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 9:09 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • No, I dont agree with that statement.

    I certainly had strict rules by most standards and I didnt rebel ever. I had a sister who rebelled(but definately not by what some would consider rebelling).

    I firmly believe its personality and HOW strict the child thinks their parents are. Plus, teens tend to believe nothing will happen to them and that their parents "dont get it" and all that other bullcrap. They lead to their own problems, really isnt about how strict or loose a parent is.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 9:12 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

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