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I dont know what to do...

What do you do when your 21 month old will not listen to you? She used to be so good but now she laughs at me when I spank her,time out doesn't work,she will not sleep at night unless I sit there watching her sleep...I have another baby due in March and really need help on what to do because if something doesn't change I feel I am going to go crazy especially when the new boy gets here,because i will have no sleep I plan to breast feed him like I did with her .she listens to her daddy when he says to stop doing things but at the same time doesn't want to play with him because he is the one she is intimidated by i guess.please help...

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Jan. 10, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (4)
  • Do you follow through with punishment? Do you compliment her when she does something right? I don't see how hitting her is going to make the situation any better, in fact research has shown it can make the situation worse - as they won't listen to you. Sounds like what happened. Do you spend time with just her doing things together? She could be unsure about having a new baby around the house as she is used to being the only one. She will get over this phase, just make sure to follow through and compliment her when she is good.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Jan. 10, 2010

  • Make sure you are consistent. It is tempting to let certain things go, but she will continue to push her boundaries. If you believe in spanking, then be consistent. If you believe in time outs, do the same. She may be anxious about the baby and is testing you. I am sure it will peak again after the baby gets here, but no matter what, consistency is key!! I don't know if you are in favor of her crying it out, but you can always try that for bedtime. When our 2nd was born, we made sure our 1st was involved in a lot of things. You can let her help you set up the nursery, help do thing for the baby once he is here like bring diapers, etc. On the day the baby is born, you can make sure she has a small present too. As above poster said, compliment her on positive behavior. If you tell her something and she listens, point it out. Or keep a sticker chart. For each good behavior, she gets a sticker. Once she has a certain amount.....

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 1:46 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • 5 or 10, you can do something special. Give her new crayons, a little car, a candy, or a special game, bake cookies. Whatever. You get the idea. This way she will be rewarded for the good behavior and will hopefully continue wanting to do that. Good luck!!!

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 1:48 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • What I do with my little ones is this:
    I know that my daughter likes to take toys away from the baby. I watch closely and if I notice that she wants to do that, I tell her to ask for the toy or trade the toy for another one. I also remind her of the punishment for yanking toys away, which is a 2 minute time out because she is 2 years old. She also has to say sorry as well.
    I find that telling her the right way to do things in a very positive voice usually works, as does verbally pointing out when she does those things without being told as well. I do not reward my kids with things... only hugs, kisses, and praise.

    Answer by squish at 2:04 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

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