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Problem with my fiance his thoughts of my daughter.

My fiance thinks that my oldest daughter(12)is to grown. The other day all the kids were up and I was asleep. My daughter told me that my fiance went into her room and broke 5 of her CD's that he purchased for her because she accidentally hit him. I asked him about it and he said she did not do it on a accident because she did not apologize and that he took matters in his own hands since I dont know how to give punishments right.
Today I asked him to clean up our bathroom, he says your daughter can do it. And I say no this is our bathroom why should she clean it she has her own bathroom to clean. Then he says I am not cleaning it she needs to clean anything that needs to be cleaned. I told him that I am so fed up with his attitude towards my daughter and that he had better change it or it would be some changes with us. He says I am wrong and I never understand his side I automatically defend my kids. What do you think?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:30 AM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • He's right, just like every other egotistical pompas ass! Your daughter is not his maid!!! And how mature is he, by breaking something he bought her because she hit him!? Yeah, that'll teach her!!! Look mama, you are going to have to decide between keeping your dick and salvaging your relationship with your daughter! If he treats her like this while you are there, how is he when you're not!? Scary, huh!? To me it is!!!! You need to talk to dd and get her oppinion and input and go from there!!! If its a misunderstanding, then great every body can go on with there lives, but if there is more to this than he's saying or admitting to, then get your kids and get out; never mind what you'll loose by leaving but instead see what you'll gain!!! When a child can see they can trust mom and tell the truth and she shows she's on their side and not her own then they will respect, honor, an listen more, but if u chose him, u mite lose them

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 3:40 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • He is in the wrong. She is your daughter not his, and you are the one to deal out punishments, and chore duty. He sounds like he thinks teens are slaves and that is not ok. He needs to act like an adult not a little baby.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 3:32 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Amen to that, I couldn't have said it any better what a wonderful answer. I was starting to wonder if CM was just full of smartas5es.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 3:43 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • If what your daughter said it true then you seriously need to think about this creep called a man. Your daughter does not deserve to be treated that way. I honestly hope you drop the zero and get you a hero! :)

    Answer by ronjwake at 4:16 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • He sounds like an abusive asshole.
    He has no consideration to your thoughts or feelings, or your daughters. He doesn't care what you think.
    What will happen if he decides she needs a slap?

    Leave him NOW.

    Answer by Piskie at 5:09 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Sounds to me as if he wants to be the only child in your life. He is acting like a spoiled 2 yr old. Breaking her things? Are you kidding me? How old is HE? I would be worried what he really has planned for her if I were you. Your first responsibility is to your children. Men are like buses, a different one comes along every 10 minutes. But NO MAN is more important than your child! Period. You have so little time left with her as it is. You blink twice and she'll be an adult herself. If I were you, I'd give him very clear guidelines on how he was to treat my children. If he refused, he would be G O N E! And the first time he messed up, same reaction. Your number one job on this planet is to protect and raise your kids. After they're grown, you can think about putting your wants and needs ahead of theirs. Not one day before that though. Piskie is right! He sounds abusive to me too. Protect you and her.


    Answer by SimplyLaine at 5:20 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • If it were me, I'd be packing my crap and leaving, or packing his crap and kicking him out. I wouldn't allow someone to treat my child that way. My kids come first. My boyfriend understands that. He has disciplined my children, but he would never treat them the way you just described. I think you need to give some serious thought to it before you decide to stay with this man and marry him. If you stay with him and he continues to treat your daughter this way, eventually (if not already) she will come to resent you and blame you for the way she is treated, and not to sound harsh, but she wouldn't be wrong.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:17 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • i would be getting rid of that nut ball

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:08 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Every day you stay with him, you are sending your child a message that you choose him over her. Clearly the relationship is unhealthy yet you stay. There are other men out there, men that will not treat you like garbage. I suggest you live alone and work on effective parenting methods for your child, so the next time you get into a relationship you can be sure that there will be no frustration over the lack of control you have over your children. I am in a successful marriage with a man who is my oldest's step father. There is a difficult balance between what parenting is for you to do alone, and what should be done as a team.

    Answer by IamPatSajak at 8:10 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • i am kind of going throught the same thing as you. my son is 5 and is not my husbands son. my husband was born and raised in malaysia and they are very strict over there and he thinks that my son should be raised how he was. um i do not htink so. this is america. i will raise my son the way he needs to be raised to succeed in the states. i have been recently researching apts to move out and he knows this and it scares him. he is on test ground in my book. i would talk to hubby and discuss the situation, if this does not work then leave him and make him feel bad for not only disrespecting you but your daughter as well.

    Answer by indysownlilbit at 8:38 AM on Jan. 11, 2010