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I should be thankful but instead I feel rejected and stupid... How do I get past this?

Well, I decided not to text the guy (my friend) I hung out with the other day to see if he would text me because he usually does everyday. This was the second time we hung out and we've been talking for a month. I got nothing from him yesterday so I am thinking that us hanging out ruined our friendship because it was so boring. I should be thankful because I didn't do anything with him so now I don't have to feel like I was used but instead I feel like I wasn't good enough to just be his friend. I kinda feel like a loser. How can I get past this and look at it in a more postive way?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I think the fact that you feel rejected and stupid has more to do with your basic opinion of yourself than it has anything to do with this particular guy. Could it be that you have been rejected in the past by someone who was very, very important to you and that this incident just stirred up those old emotions? That is what often happens to us. Instead of giving any thought to this present guy, why not spend some time thinking about your past and looking for ways to get over that? Spend the time thinking about all the positive things about yourself that are just "you" and don't have to be stroked by anyone else, particularly a guy. Learn to love yourself for who you are, not for your ability to attract and keep some guy who doesn't want you anyway. Once you become a whole person in and of yourself, you will find that you will attract a whole other class of guys, and then you will be ready for a mature relationship.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:38 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • So let me get this straight... you stopped communication to put him through some kind of a "test", setting yourself up for feelings of rejection over a non-existent relationship? I think you need to grow up a bit before you date, especially if children are involved.

    Answer by IamPatSajak at 9:39 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • OP HERE - I asked a question yesterday and their advice was to wait for him to text me instead of me texting him and seeming needy. Yes, I do have a lot of insecurities and they always seem to come out when I find myself in this type of situation. Is it a maturity issue, NO... it's the fact that I just got out of a very dysfunctional relationship with someone who ignored me on purpose to hurt my feelings, someone who emotionally and verbally abused me. I need time to heal and that is why I am taking small steps with the guys I meet. I just needed some support and I don't need anyone telling me I am not mature enough! I was mature enough to stand up to my ex FOR MY SON and myself and tell him goodbye because being with him was making me unhealthy and that was not healthy for my son.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • (((HUGS)))

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Just meet more people and you pick on who you'd like to be with and continue to not be easy or available that helps big time in the long run..I don't know you but I am happy and proud to hear you are not that type of girl. Keep up the good work and just be patient or just concentrate on your son and go from there you don't want to get into a relationship for just a rebound. GL

    Oh and don't call the guy when he is ready he will call you and try to keep yourself busy so you won't even think about what you are feeling.

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:17 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

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