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stay at home mom getting a divorce! HELP!

I am very scared and need advice. My husband is pretty lousy to me in so many ways, cheating to name one thing. But I have went back to school so I can get a good job and get out of my marriage in a few years and have a decent job to give my boys a decent life. Well I am really tired of getting cheated on and yelled at like I am the horrible person in this marriage, and I am wanting to get out. I told him either quit cheating on me or go get the papers. Well if he gets the papers or myself, either way. What do I do. I mean I know I can do it, lots of women do right. But could I fight for our home, logically? Will I get our boys? We have a 7 acre farm and clearly I cant afford it. But what if somehow I could, how does all this work. I have no idea. I live in Indiana if that makes a differance and everything is in his name. Thanks

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • It all depends on the Judge. Most likely they would split the equity in the farm/home - which means that if you wanted to keep it you might have to buy him out of his share. If he won't agree to that, you might have to sell it. There will most likely be a joint/shared custody if he wants the kids too - meaning that there will be at the very least some type of visitation schedule. He should be required to pay child support, unless the custody is split 50/50 when he may not have to.
    But - all of this really depends on the Judge, so much is up to their discretion.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:07 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • sweetie you need out!!!!!!!!!! call a divorce lawyer for advice! 9/10 times mommy gets the kids, money doesnt always matter, adn legally you get half of everything bought after you get married. including the house, you could walk of this with the whole house and rent it out and not even live there, and because legally adultry is a crime you will be ok, just be strong. i watched my parents go threw this but bc my mom was a drunken druggie my dad got us but i watched my dad work wonders ina court room. best of luck to u
    Mommy2Layla08

    Answer by Mommy2Layla08 at 10:08 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • When you file for divorce in most places you can get a temporary order-- this handles things like who stays in the house, who pays for things, etc. This is usually heard by the judge within 14 days. Since you are SAHM, it is possible that the temp order could give you the kids, kick him out of the house, make him continue paying the bills, and handle child support and temp alimony.

    Call your area women's center/ shelter. They can give you a list of lawyers who specialize in your type of case. Some work for free, but that is usually in family violence cases. You can probably find someone who will represent you and get legal fees from him or set up a payment plan.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 10:21 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • You would need a stable job and if you did move out a stable residence in order to have custody of your children. That is if you did go to court to fight for custody. Go to Indiana.gov and look at their laws.

    You can do it if you put your mind to it. You'll need a stable job with enough income to support you, your boys, and a residence. That can mean two jobs if needed.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:47 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • get advice from a lawyer. Start putting money aside.

    sometimes it is better to sell and start over again.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:19 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • This very same situation happened to me. I caught my ex husband cheating on me when I was pregnant with our second son. I wasnt working because I was on bedrest. I confronted him and he packed up his stuff and left to the barracks (he's in the military) so I moved back home with my mom. He ended up deploying and we were just seperated so I was able to rent a home for me and my 2 boys. When he returned we finalized our divorce and I still was with a baby and a toddler and going to school full time so I had no job. What I had to do, because we didn't own a home and because child support doesn't cover every last bill, was go to social services. They give me financial aid, food stamps (which is just a debit card with money on it), assitance with day care, medical for myself (boys are covered under their dad) and financial aid with school.

    So my advice would be to go to social services and talk with them, they will (cont)
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 11:46 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • assign you a case worker who will follow your case and follow you through the divorce and help you get the assistance you need in order for you to get back on your feet. They can supply you with section 8 vouchers so you can afford a place to live, pretty much help you in as many areas as possible.

    Now when you divorce your lawyer will make up an MSA (marriage settlement agreement) and in that contract it will dictate child support amount, what debts you each are responsible for, who will keep what, custody of children and whether or not you stay in the house. Normally the mother keeps the children and stays in the home.....normally......
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 11:48 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

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