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Am I a bad girlfriend?

My boyfriend and I live together, but work opposite shifts. He only works 3 nights, then he's home the rest of the week. After about 5 hours away, he is already texting that he misses me. I'm not even thinking about it, just we had fun and now I'm super busy catching up with chores and playing with dd. He makes me feel bad that I don't miss him. I do eventually, especially if he works an extra night. I can't say I miss you though, if I don't. To me it's lying, but he says it so often, it's starting to annoy me. He has a lot going on in his life, so I really don't understand how he has all this time to be missing me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • He's needy and co-dependent. That is nor a reflection on you. You can choose to accept that in your mate, reject it and hurt him or work together on trust and forming a more healthy relationship through counseling or self-help.
    IamPatSajak

    Answer by IamPatSajak at 10:10 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Or he could just really love her, and wants her to know it. I swear, what if he wasn't giving you the attention you wanted? What if you tell him to stop doing what he's doing and because he doesn't want to upset you overcompensates by not being affectionate at all. I'm sorry, but IMO you being a bit crude.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 10:13 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • You don't deserve him!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I think it's perfectly natural not to miss someone like he claims to be missing you. Some people aren't that clingy where they miss someone the instant they walk out the door. I don't miss my husband until about 3:00 in the afternoon, then I start wanting him to come home. Yet I have to wait until 6:00 when he actually does come home, it's rough. Some days I don't miss him at all and don't worry about when he is coming home. It's not that I don't love my husband, it's not that I don't care he's away. It's just that I don't spend time dwelling on the fact that he's away. If he were to call up and say "Babe I miss you" and I don't feel it I'll just say "Aww, that's sweet". I agree that it is lying if you say it and don't mean it.

    You're not a bad person for not missing him. Not everyone gets those longing feelings every single day for someone.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:32 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • You are lucky to have him even though you might not miss him when he tells you eventually you will and he might not be feeling it so just go with it tell him you miss him too and love him. You don't want him to start to stop telling you stuff. I know my dh changed in that way even though I was the one that was being affectionate towards him. Consider yourself lucky :)
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:24 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • That's annoying...I agree..your feelings about this will probably only intensify and you'll end up going off on him and hurting him, I knew a guy like that, he was always saying 'I love you'.. I love you' when we were signing off or hanging up or just saying goodbye and expected me to say it back and I would just be like 'ok bye!'...lol it always made me feel bad too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • what you should do is tell him you miss him, of course you miss him. My fiancee does this too, he says I love you every 5 seconds lol whether we are in person or he's texting me.....lol .... I just tell him i love you too and go about my business, its just how he is and I've never been with anyone like that. Honestly I was married previously for 4 years and my ex never once said I love you unless I said it first. Just sit down with him and let him know that you love him and that of course you miss him, and if you don't say it, it dont mean you dont miss him your just a lil busy......thats all. I think he just wants to know that you do too....so just reconfirm you love and miss him always no matter what and just because you don't say it doesnt mean that you don't.
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 11:37 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • mines is kinda like that, its annoying
    jbirchard

    Answer by jbirchard at 1:01 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • My fiance says it all the time to when we are talking and it feels good to be loved that much and you know something when it stops then you will worry or conplain that he doesnt say it to you any more and if he is not saying to you then who is he saying to. I miss him when we are not together because he is the best love of my life and he only wants to know that you feel that way to.
    No you are not a bad gf you need to think what does he do to make you happy and secureand if that was gone would you miss him.and you didnt say how long you have been together.
    paurad

    Answer by paurad at 1:16 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

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