Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do you do with a child with excellent grades but crappy behavior?

My son's in second grade. He makes nearly all As on his report card. However, his behavior seems to slowly be declining. He's getting in trouble more for not doing what he's told in class, getting kicked off the school bus for various things (suspended from the bus 3X this fall), and is refusing to do his chores at home. When you try to talk to him he clams up and remains motionless. You pick him up to take him to his room he remains in whatever position you set him down in for hours. We've tried taking away things he enjoys as well as not letting him go places. What else can we do to convince him to improve his behavior?

Answer Question
 
cassi9879

Asked by cassi9879 at 10:17 AM on Jan. 11, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I was going to suggest that maybe he's bored with his class work, and that's why he's getting into trouble at school. However, if it is spilling over into his home life it might be something more. I see that he is unwilling to talk about it. It sounds like his behaviour is stemming from something more then just being a brat. Has there been any changes in his lifestyle? Maybe a new sibling, you and his father seperating, or his father not having been in his life, or maybe he's being bullied at school. Try to find the root of the problem before resorting to extreme punishment. I could be wrong and it could be that he's just being a brat, but it sounds to me that he's acting out due to an issue he's dealing with.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:21 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Maybe he is bored. If he is doing so well in school, maybe he needs to be challenged. AP classes may be helpful. Maybe consult a counselor.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 10:21 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Sorry JazzlikeMraz! I must've been typing when you answered! :-)
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 10:22 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • You need a system of rewards and consequences and to stick to it. I certainly would not PICK HIM UP, that is crazy. Your child is far too old to require that level of physical restraint to follow direction. If he is not mature enough to handle the bus you need to drive him. The bus driver is not a disciplinarian, nor is he/she in a position to teach your child the appropriate way to act. They are only there to focus on transporting safely. If your child is impeding that in any way, you should respect them enough to pull your child off. Your child needs to increase his activity level and learn how to follow direction. Getting involved in Tae Kwon Do is a wonderful way to make that happen for a child his age. Eventually his behavior will effect his grades and the longer you let him behave this way the harder it will be to reverse it.
    IamPatSajak

    Answer by IamPatSajak at 10:23 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • have you tried talking to him to find out if something is happening at school or anywhere else? Is he playing with new kids? is there something that has happened in the family?...
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:36 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • As a teacher, most kids are not "bored" at school unless they are having social issues with friends. There are few kids that are so smart that school is not a challenge for them. The brightest kids are usually the least bored because they are able to challenge themselves and truly love learning. If you rule out social problems with friends/home/teachers, I would next look at his activity levels. We find that in the cold months many kids who normally are out running about are inside and all that pent up energy turns negative. If your guy loves to play until dark when its warm out, consider putting him in a winter sport or going to the pool or recreation center a few days a week after school. High energy kids have such a hard time when its too cold to play outside. I have one little guy that I send for an extra PE class when we have indoor recess at school due to weather because I know he needs to burn some energy!
    justmyopinion

    Answer by justmyopinion at 11:19 AM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • You need to be more consistant at home. He will only do what you allow him to get away with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • As a teacher, most kids are not "bored" at school unless they are having social issues with friends. There are few kids that are so smart that school is not a challenge for them. The brightest kids are usually the least bored because they are able to challenge themselves and truly love learning. If you rule out social problems with friends/home/teachers,

    I agree with this completely. My son is 7 and in 2nd grade he is working at a 4th grade level still loves school and if you don't give him something to learn he will do it for himself. He had a few social struggles the first few weeks of school because he was the new kid. He would complain of being bored he never got in trouble we are very consistant with discipline and rules at home. Once he made friends that all changed

    I would think your child probably needs some structured play time so he can burn off some energy. Also more effective discipline at home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • As a teacher I can tell you that his behavior will start to effect his grades if you dont get a handle on it. Maybe enrolling him in a sport or activity that he really enjoys doing will help. Also let him know upon enrolling him that he has to control his behavior at school or he is out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • There seems to be more than meets the eye. You need to find out what's really bothering your son. As JazzlikeMrazz mentioned, look for any changes in your child's life. This could help pinpoint you in the right direction.


     


    Young Children Acting Out In School


    6 Rules For Getting Your Child To Talk


    Getting your Child To Do Chores NOW!

    Mom-Online

    Answer by Mom-Online at 10:56 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN